GOKU, A Shrek Parody
by Ouji-Chan
Summary: It's a parody of Shrek, read the title! I changed a few things, read for the details and as always it's yaoi, don't like don't read. ^-^
1. Default Chapter Meet Goku!

GOKU  
  
  
  
Disclaimer~ I don't own DBZ, Shrek/the movie or the book.  
  
Authors notes:: This is a parody of the movie Shrek. I have changed the lines and the characters just a tiny bit to suit my fiction. I wont be posting the next chapter for a little while because I have exams and shit for school. However, I thought I would explain a few things so that when I do post it, and you read it, you wont get confused and yell at me. -.-;  
  
The saiya-jin take the place of the fairytale creatures, they have different power levels, but they can't use ki, they just have increased strength and endurance. So, for instance, Goku is ssj level 4 in my fic, but he doesn't use ki and he can't fly, he has extream levels of strength and endurance though. Where as Radditz, only has strength that is slightly more than that of three humans. Understand? No? oh well.Oh yes, and Brolli is an ultamate, so his power leve is above the others, he Can fly and use ki that resembles fire. Hey it's my fic I can screw it up however I want to! Mwahahaha!  
  
The cast is as follows…  
  
Shrek~Goku  
  
Princess Fiona~Vegeta  
  
Donkey~Radditz  
  
Dragon~Brolli  
  
Lord Farquad~Bulma  
  
Thelonious~Mr. Sataan, Hercule for the dubbies  
  
Gingerbread man~Pan  
  
Robin Hood~Saiyaman  
  
Pinnocchio~Trunks  
  
Captain of the Guard~Juunanagou  
  
SnowWhite~ChiChi  
  
Cinderella~Chautzu  
  
Mirror~Nappa  
  
Other characters like people of Duloc,renamed Capsule, or the fairytale cast will be just ordinary people or saiya-jins. My story will vary from be rated at pg-13 for some suggestive language or situations as well as cursing. I really hope you all enjoy it and I will try to post the next part soon. I spent three days rewinding, playing, pausing and writing out the movie lines, just so I could twist them to fit my strange fic. I really have been eating to much sugar lately I believe. Oh well! Love you all and please read my little fic when it's posted. Domo Arigato Minna-San!  
  
" " Denotes speaking  
  
Ouji Chan  
  
Chapter One  
  
Goku sat with a small book in his lap, he amusedly read the lines to himself. " Once upon a time there was a lovely prince, but he had an enchantment on him of a fearful sort. Which could only be broken by loves first kiss. He was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire breathing monster. Many brave knights had attempted to free him from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. He waited in the dragons keep. In the highest room of the tallest tower. For his true love, and true loves first kiss." The furry saiya-jin let out a snorting laugh as he ripped the rest of the book out to use as toilet paper. "Like that's ever gonna happen! Oh lordy." He exclaimed as he stepped out of the outhouse to do his daily activities. Goku took a quick bath in the cleaner water of the swamp by his house, painted himself a beautifully terrifying 'no tresspassing' sign, and caught himself a fish for dinner. Meanwhile, in the town near his swamp, the people were gathered together in the town square, plotting on catching a certain hairy, pink saiya-jin.  
  
Goku had just sat down to his dinner when he heard strange noises outside his home, sounds like booted feet and hushed whispers. He quietly sneaked out his back door and crept up behind the unsuspecting lot of villagers. "It's in there, all right let's get it!" One of them cried, running out towards the house, but he was yanked back by another man. "Hold on, do you know what that thing could do to you?" A thrid villager spoke up. "Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread." Their laughter was cut short as Gokus rumbling chortle resounded in their ears. He smirked at their surprised, frightened faces. "Yes, actually, that would be an Ice- jin. Now Saiya-jin, oh they're much worse, they'll make a soup in your freshly peeled skin, they'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes!" He stopped his advance on the retreating men to place his hand on his chin and remark in a thoughtful manner. "Actually, it's quite good on toast." He raised an eyebrow as one man waved a lighted torch at him. "Back! Back beast! Back! I warn ya!" The bold fool cried. Goku licked his fingers and put out the fire on the torch, he and the villagers shared smiles, one calm, the others nervous. The once bold man now shook slightly as his grin faultered. "Right." He squeaked out. Goku took a deep breath and roared for all he was worth at the puny humans, who screamed as though they were five year old girls and not strong village men. After he had finished yelling, Goku wipped his mouth and whispered to the petrified men. "This is the part where you, run away." In no time at all, his swamp was empty save a dust cloud and a small piece of paper that floated down to the ground unnoticed by the laughing Saiya-jin. "And stay out!" Goku took a step forward and heard something crunch bellow him, he reached down and lifted a crumpled paper into the light trailing from his window. A picture of a Saiya-jins' face and his tail curled off to the side near his head was shown above bold, black letters. 'WANTED, SAIYA-JINS ALL POWER LEVELS, REWARDS WILL VARY'  
  
He shook his head and dropped the paper back to the ground, heading inside his home to finish his meal in peace.  
  
  
  
A.N.:: That's Chapter one! I hope you enjoyed it! More soon, review please?? ::Crosses his arms and flashes a cute smile to everyone:: I live on reviews! 


	2. Chapter Two Radditz joins Goku

Chapter Two  
  
Disclaimer~ I do not own DBZ, or Shrek..movie or book version.  
  
  
  
In a large clearing not far from Gokus' swamp, a gathering of villagers, saiya-jins, and soldiers could be seen. Most of the saiya-jins were either in cages, or being loaded into carts to be shipped off somewhere. The rest of the tailed creatures were standing in a long line with various villagers, at the head of the line; a large oak table was set up, surrounded by armed guards. At this table sat Juunanagou, captain of Lady Bulmas' army. He was a shrewd, handsome young man whose piercing blue eyes glinted more ferociously than his polished sword ever could. At the moment, he was bored out of his skull. He stifled a yawn as the guard beside him called up the next villager. He really found the whole ordeal tiresome, Lady Bulma insisted that all the saiya-jins be removed from her lands because, as she put it, they 'shed their annoying tail fur all over her perfect world.' He rolled his eyes and handed the man twenty pieces of silver for the saiya-jin.  
  
The man walked back down the line with a scowl on his face. "Lousy twenty pieces." He grumbled as he passed by an old woman and her catch. Her captive was a saiya-jin in his early twenties; he had a sharp widows peak and long, wild black hair that fell down to his knees. His coal black eyes were wide with shock and fear as he watched the guards handle the other saiya-jins none too gently. He turned to the woman that he had served since he was a child and begged her once more. "Please don't turn me in, I'll never be stubborn again, I can change! Please, give me another chance!" He bit his lower lip as the old hag turned hateful eyes towards him. "Oh shut up!" She hissed, lifting a hand to strike him. Radditz backed down with a defeated sigh. He watched as the line got closer and closer to the table, till he was only one person away.  
  
"Next." Boomed the captains' voice. "What have you got?" He raised an eyebrow in question as a young boy with bright blue eyes and lavender hair was set down in front of him. The man who had put the boy down smiled at him. "This little demi-saiya-jin." Before Juunanagou could respond, the youth turned to him and stated firmly. "I'm not a demi-saiya-jin, I'm a real boy!" His words would have been believable if it were not for his shimmering, purple tail that twisted behind him nervously. Juunanagou stared at the boy as though he was the stupidest thing alive then flippantly remarked to his guards. "Five shillings for the half-breed. Take it away." The old man took his money and walked away, ignoring the cries of the young boy as he was lifted and carried off. "No wait! Father, don't let them do this!"  
  
Radditz was horrified by the whole situation, but he suddenly heard the words of his own doom. "Next, what have you got?"  
  
The saiya-jin glanced frantically around for an escape as his former mistress smirked at the captain. "Well, I've got a pure blooded saiya-jin." Her confidence grew as Juunanagou smiled at her. "Right," He began cheerfully. "Well that's good for ten shillings," His voice then lowered to a deadpan. "If you can prove it."  
  
Radditz was then struck with a flash of brilliance; the only way to tell a human from a saiya-jin was by the saiya-jins' tail. He smirked to himself as he remembered that his mistress had cut off all but six inches of his tail when he had come into her service. He carefully slipped the little stub of fur inside his clothes as the old woman turned to him. "Go ahead big fella, show them your tail." She frowned as Radditz gave her an incredulous look. The captain raised an eyebrow; he didn't see any brown, fuzzy appendages sticking out of the man anywhere. "Well?" He inquired. The woman smiled nervously. "Oh, ha, he's just uh, he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a strong saiya-jin." She growled at Radditz. "Show them your tail, you bone headed dolt!"  
  
Juunanagou rolled his eyes. "All right, I've heard enough, Guards." The woman frantically waved her arms as the knights approached her. "No no! I swear, he's a saiya-jin, he is!" She grabbed a lock of Radditz hair and waved it around near his thigh. "See! He's a saiya-jin, the strongest damn saiya-jin you've ever seen!" She gave them all a weak grin. Juunanagou was less than convinced. "Get her out of my sight." He ordered. The old woman put up a good struggle with the guards, grabbing onto Radditz and trying desperately to prove her story. There was a resounding 'rip' as part of his pants were torn, revealing his stubby tail. She smirked as everyone gasped. Radditz covered the upper half of his backside with his hands and blushed. "I'm exposed!" He yelped as he tried to pull his shirt down. A small saiya-jin laughed and yelled. "He's exposed!" Juunanagou wasn't concerned with the nudity though all he was worried about was the fact that, "He's a saiya-jin!"  
  
Radditz finally covered his butt with his shirt and turned to smirk at the captain. "That's right fool! I am a pure blooded saiya-jin. You may have seen a demi-saiya-jin, maybe even a super saiya-jin, but you ain't never seen, a Manx saiya-jin!" His smirked faltered as the guards walked towards him. "Uh-oh." He turned to run just as Juunanagou yelled out. "Seize him!" The soldiers pounced on him, but he managed to throw them off and break away into the forest. His breath came in short pants as he ran, his pulse pounding as loudly as the sound of the armored foot steps behind him. He turned his head to see just how close the guards were, when he ran into something solid and furry. He let out a startled 'oof' and fell to the ground. Radditz blinked up at a tall, furry, pink saiya-jin, with sharp eyes and an unhappy frown. He was about to speak but the sounds of the guards made him duck behind the impressive saiya-jin instead. Goku narrowed his eyes as a troop of knights thundered into the woods. The captain cleared his throat and spoke nervously. "You there, Saiya-jins."  
  
Goku crossed his arms over his bare chest. "Aye." He raised an eyebrow as the captain rambled on in a tremulous manner. Juunanagou pulled out a scroll with a large blue B on it, displaying it for the large saiya-jin as he spoke to him. "By the order of Lady Bulma, I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated, free settlement, facility." He gulped as the tall, hairy beast looked him right in the eye and smirked. "Oh really? You and what army?" Goku asked smugly as the captain finally noticed his men had all left him. He let out a small cry and ran back the way he had come, after all, a level four saiya-jin was not something that was to be messed with alone.  
  
Goku snorted as he turned and walked past the awe struck saiya-jin. Radditz cleared his throat and smiled at the furry back. "Can I, can I say something to you? Listen you was really something back there." He remarked as he ran to catch up with his rescuer. He kept the big saiya-jins back in front of him as Goku tried to turn and look at him. "Incredible." He continued. Goku stared around in a bit of confusion, every time he tried to see the face that went the voice, he was met with scenery. He scratched the back of his head. "Are you talking to, me?" He shrugged his shoulders when he got no reply and turned back around to walk right into a body. He let out a startled yelp and jumped back from the grinning Radditz. "Yes I was talking to you. Can I just tell you that you was really great back there man. Those guards, man they thought they was all of that! Then you showed up and bam! They was trippin over themselves like babes in the woods. See that, that really made me feel good to see that." He rattled on, unaware of Gokus' wide eyes. The taller saiya-jin had never met anyone that could talk so fast or so much before. He nodded somewhat uncertainly. "Oh that's great." He remarked, annoyed when Radditz spoke up again.  
  
"It's good to be free." He sighed happily. Goku turned and rested a hand on the shorter saiya-jins head. "Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?" He hinted; hopping the longhaired man would get the idea and go away. Radditz looked thoughtful for a moment as Goku walked on. " But, uh, I don't have any friends, and I am not going out there by myself!" He grinned and ran after Goku. "Hey wait a minute, I got a great idea! I'll stick with you! You're a mean, lean, fighting machine. Together, we'll scare the spit outta everybody that crosses us." He smiled at Goku, even though the taller saiya-jin was clearly unimpressed. Goku turned to Radditz and roared in his face as loud and as menacingly as he could. Radditz stared at him with his mouth hanging open, his eyes bugged and his head tilted back for a few, quiet moments. Then he grinned again. "Oh wow! That was really scary! And if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work your breath certainly will get the job done, cause you definitely need some tic tacs or something, cause your breath stinks!" He made a face and then ran to catch up with his new pal, jumping up onto a tree and hanging over the edge so he was face to face with the annoyed saiya-jin. "Man you almost burned the hair outta my nose. Just like the time, mmff umph mnnff." He continued to talk as Goku covered his mouth with his hand, desperate to shut him up. When he saw that wasn't going to happen, he sighed and removed his hand. Radditz was still going. "and then I ate some rotten berries, man I had some strong gases eking outta my butt that day." He grinned at his companions vexed expression. Goku raised his voice a bit. "Why are you following me?!" He cried as he pushed past the smiling saiya-jin. Radditz hopped off his branch and trotted after him. "Oh I'll tell you why." He jumped in front of Goku and blocked him, posing as he began to sing. " Cause I'm all alone, there's nobody here beside me! My problems have all gone, there's no one to deride me!" He grinned again and started to dance." But ya gotta have friends!"  
  
Goku let out a short cry of anger and picked Radditz up by his shirt, lifted him up to his face and snarled at him. "Stop singing!" He dropped the large eyed saiya-jin off to the side and shook his head at him. "Well it's no wonder ya don't have any friends!" He exclaimed. Radditz flashed him that impish grin again. "Wow, only a true friend would be that truly honest." He replied. Goku moaned in dismay. He tried once more to make the smaller man understand. "Listen, little fella, take a look at me! What am I?" He waited, as Radditz looked him up and down. "Uh, really tall?" He tried, scratching the back of his head and grinning once more. Goku growled at him. "No! I'm a level four super saiya-jin! You know, 'Grab your torch and pitchforks!' Doesn't that bother you?" He asked. Radditz shook his head. "Nope."  
  
Goku was taken a back by this and blinked a few times before responding. "Really?"  
  
Radditz continued to grin. "Really, really." Goku shrugged, and said, "Oh."  
  
The shorter saiya-jin smirked at him. "Man I like you, what's your name?" Goku stared at him for a moment, then off handedly spoke as he walked on again. "Goku." Radditz made a face. "Goku?!" He shook his head and ran after his new friend. "Well you know what I like about you Goku? You got that 'I don't care what nobody thinks of me' thing. I like that, I respect that, you're all right." He turned his attention to a large, run down looking house near a lonely swamp. "Woo look at that! Who would want to live in a place like that!?" He exclaimed. Goku gave him a meaningful look. "That would be my home." He said as he walked down the hill. Radditz blushed as he followed behind Goku, he had to say something to make up for his rude outburst. "Oh and it's lovely! Beautiful! You know you are quite the decorator, it's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget! I like that boulder, that is a nice boulder." His grin faded as he passed by some very unfriendly looking 'keep out' signs. "I uh, guess you don't entertain much, do you?" He asked. Goku cast a glance over his shoulder at him. "I like my privacy." He commented. Radditz grinned again. "You know I do to, that's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face, you're trying to give 'em a hint and they wont leave, and then there's that big, awkward silence, you know?" He could feel the sweat drip down his neck as Goku gave him another meaningful look; he tried to change the subject quickly with a direct question. "Can I stay with you?"  
  
Goku stuttered in surprise. "Wha..what?!" He raised an eyebrow as Radditz repeated himself. "Can I stay with you, please?" Goku smiled warmly at the other saiya-jin. "Of course!" He said. Radditz blinked a little. "Really?" He asked hopefully. Goku frowned at him. "No." There was a sudden flash of black hair and Radditz had Goku pinned to the front door. "Please!" He begged. "I don't want to go back out there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!" He paused to look Gokus' pink, hairy body over and then continued. "Well, maybe you do, but that's why we have to stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!!" He cried. Goku couldn't take anymore. "Ok! Ok, but one night only!" He pushed Radditz off and opened his door, letting out a yelp as the saiya-jin rushed past him with a cry of "Oh thank you! Oh this is gonna be fun!" Goku stared at him as he jumped onto the reclining chair. "What are you, no, no!" He cried. Radditz just went on talking, as usual. "We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!" He nodded proudly as the other saiya-jin growled. At Gokus' silence, he turned his head and looked around. "Where do uh, I sleep?" He asked. Goku glared at him and pointed a finger out the door. "Outside!"  
  
Radditz tried not to show his hurt feelings in his voice. "Oh uh, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you and you don't know me so I guess, outside is best." He slid off the chair and trudged past Goku. "Here I go. Goodnight." He sniffled, as the door was slammed shut behind him.  
  
Goku sighed and finally relaxed in his moment of peace and quiet, then Radditz voice echoed in through the door. " I mean I do like the outdoors, I'm a saiya-jin, I was born outside." Goku threw his hands up in defeat and walked away from the door as Radditz continued to ramble on. "Just by myself outside I guess." He started to sing in a sad voice. "I'm all alone, there's nobody here beside me."  
  
The hairy, pink saiya-jin sat down at his table to eat, he was only a little sorry for putting Radditz outside, but after all, it wasn't as though the saiya-jin was living with him. He shrugged off the feeling and began to eat, unaware of the lonely eyes looking in at him from the window. Radditz sighed and stepped over to the porch, where he sat down and tried to go to sleep. Goku was about to take another bite of his dinner when he heard a rustling sound; he set his spoon down and stood up, glaring at the window. "I thought I told you to stay outside." He growled as Radditz poked his head up and cried defensively. "I am outside!" Goku was more than a little confused now. He turned around and saw two little saiya-jins on his table, picking at his dinner. He snarled as he grabbed them by their tails and lifted them up to his face. "What are you doing in my house?!" He dropped the children as something slammed into his back. When he turned to look down, the sight of a beautiful, dark-haired woman, inside a glass coffin met him. He raised his eyes to see several young saiya-jins grinning at him. "Oh no, no, dead broad off the table!" He started to push her off when one of them yelled exasperatedly. "Well where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken!" Goku looked up in alarm. "Huh!?" He marched over to his room and threw open the door. A young saiya-jin rested on the bed and glanced up at him with a wry smile. "What?" He asked. Goku snarled and dragged the saiya-jin to the front door by the scruff of his neck. "I live in a swamp, I put up signs, I'm a terrifying level four saiya-jin, what do I have to do to get a little privacy?!" He ranted as he chucked the saiya- jin out of his house. His eyes widened in sheer horror as he beheld his once calm, quiet swamp. It was now over-flowing with saiya-jins of all shapes, sizes, and levels. "Oh no, no, no! What are you all doing in my swamp!?" He bellowed. There was a sudden gasp and everyone fell quiet in stunned fear. Goku tried to chase some of them off, but they ran into his house and shut the door. "No ,no, not there!" He sighed in defeat. Radditz took a step back at the force of the glare Goku leveled at him. "Hey don't look at me! I didn't invite them!" he protested. A familiar purple-headed demi-saiya-jin stepped forward to explain. "Well gosh, no one invited us." He said snidely. Goku turned his glare onto the boy. "What?!" Another saiya-jin tried to explain a bit clearer than his friend had. "We were forced to come here." He said sadly. Goku raised his eyebrows. "By who!?" He asked as the saiya-jin pressed on. "Lady Bulma, she shrieked and she screamed and she, signed an eviction notice." He mumbled. Goku took a deep breath. "All right, who knows where this Bulma girl is?" He asked. Radditz waved his hand in the air. "Oh I do! I know where she lives!" He cried excitedly. Goku pretended to ignore him. "Does anyone else know where she lives?"  
  
Radditz tried again, waving both arms this time. "Me! Me!" Goku cringed and tried once more. "Anyone?" He searched the crowd in vain as Radditz started to jump up and down. "Oh, oh pick me! Oh I know! Pick me!" Finally, Goku gave up and sighed. "Ok fine. Attention all Saiya-jins, do not get comfortable, your welcome here has officially worn out, in fact, I'm going to go see this girl Bulma right now, and get you all off my land and back to where you came from." He announced to the stunned crowd. The swamp was suddenly filled with cheering voices as Goku turned to Radditz. "You, you're coming with me." He marched off as the crowd parted for him. The saiya-jins kept cheering while Goku and Radditz walked on. Radditz grinned happily. "All right, that's what I like to hear! Goku and Radditz, two stalwart friends on a whirlwind, big city adventure! I love it!" He cleared his throat and began to sing. "On the road again. Sing it with me Goku! I can't wait to get on the road again!"  
  
Goku glared at him. "What did I tell you about singing?" He growled. Radditz smiled sheepishly. "Well can I whistle?" Goku felt his eye twitch as he kept walking. "No." Radditz was unperturbed. "Well can I hum it?" He smiled as he heard Goku sigh. "All right, fine, hum it." The humming of 'On the Road Again' echoed through the night as Goku and Radditz set out to meet Lady Bulma.  
  
  
  
  
  
A.N. That's it for chapter two. Whew! That was longer than I thought it would be, oi, these are going to just get longer and longer, I can see it now! -.-; Oh well, as long as you like it and review. ^-^ 


	3. Chapter Three It's Bulma, Err, the vil...

Chapter Three  
  
Disclaimer ~ I don't own DBZ, or Shrek the movie or the book  
  
A.N. I asked a very good friend about the fur color of Goku when he is level four and guess what? It IS pink, so if you don't like it, then that's just too bad 'cause Toriyama designed him that way, not me. Thanks for the reviews and I would still like more! That's a hint if you don't know. ^-^;  
  
  
  
A tall figure in a flowing robe walked purposefully down a lavishly decorated hall. Her cold, aqua blue eyes glared out at the world with an air of arrogance and self-love beyond the considered normal amount. She had thin, pale lips that were drawn into a firmly set frown and painted with an outrageously loud red lipstick, which matched her extravagant nail polish perfectly. Her blue-green hair was cut just above her shoulders and hugged her head tightly, barely moving as she strode down the corridor. Her extreme make-up and gaudy jewelry only added to her vain, pitiable appearance. Though she thought herself a great beauty, Lady Bulma was rather plain looking without her mask of cosmetics and as for her body well, her hips were a size too large and her breasts were so small, one couldn't tell if she was male or female without touching her. Of course, no one wanted to do that, for her temper was not one to be reckoned with. She made the meanest of the Ice-jins look like a harmless babe. Her cruel eyes lit up with a flash of enjoyment as she approached the doors of her destination, the castles' torture room.  
  
Inside the dimly lit, dismal room hung a young girl. Her dark eyes were squeezed shut as she twisted and writhed from her chained position, upside down from the ceiling. Her tormenter was a tall man with a large afro and little brain. His current method of torture on his victim was tickling. Her high pitched laughter rang out through the dark room as Lady Bulma entered, her lips curved into a sneer as she held up one slender, pale hand. "That's enough, she's ready to talk." Her shrill laughter echoed through the room as Sataan lowered the young demi-saiya-jin onto a table. The girls' black eyes seethed with hatred as Bulma mockingly tugged on her restraints. "Fight, fight, fight as hard as you can, you can't beat me, I'm the saiya-jin Pan!" She teased. Pan shook her head at the woman. "You're a monster." She said. Bulma glared at her. "I'm not the monster here, you are. You and the rest of that Saiya-jin trash spoiling my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the others!" She yelled as she grabbed onto Pans' shoulders and shook her violently. Pan wasn't frightened in the slightest; in fact, she was amused. She smirked at the Lady right before spitting on her face. "Bite me!" She cried triumphantly. Bulma growled as she wiped the offensive liquid from her face. She walked around the table and picked up a small knife. "I've tried to be fair to you creatures, now my patience is at an end! Tell me! Or I'll.." She trailed off menacingly as she placed the blade edge to the end of Pans' light brown tail. The young girls' face twisted with fear and anger. "Not the tail! Not my little tail!" She cried. Bulma smirked to herself and set the knife down. "All right then, who's hiding them!?" She bellowed. Pan looked away and spoke in a defeated, shameful tone. "Ok, I'll tell you. Do you know the Namek man?" She asked. Lady Bulma looked perplexed for a moment. "The Namek man?" She mused. Pan nodded her head. "The Namek man." She repeated. Bulma thought hard about all the people under her rule, she faintly recalled a tall, green man with pointed ears and a surly disposition. "Yes, I know the Namek man. The one who lives on Drewry Lane?" She asked hopefully. Pan could barely keep from grinning as she continued to lead the Lady on her wild goose chase. "Well, she's married to, the Namek man." She said softly, closing her eyes in utter shame. Bulma looked aghast. "The Namek man ?!" She cried. Pan shouted out hysterically. "The Namek man!" Lady Bulma put a finger to her chin in thought. "She's married to the Namek man." She mused, unaware of Pans' half-contained giggles. Just then there was a bright light in the room, as the door at the head of the stairs opened and Captain Juunanagou entered inside. He politely bowed his head to Bulma. "My Lady, we've found it." He said. Bulma smiled approvingly. "Well then what are you waiting for? Bring it in!" She cried.  
  
The guards huffed as they lifted a heavy, round object onto the wall and hung it in place on a sturdy hook. A drab, yellowed canvass was pulled back to reveal the polished surface of dark glass, the black glass that was the magic mirror of legend. A quiet gasp escaped the lips of all in the room as a bald head with steely eyes and a thin mustache formed in the smooth glass. Lady Bulma smiled at the trapped face. "Magic mirror.." She began. "Don't tell her anything!" Pan cried out. She yelped as Bulma threw her into a cage at the end of the room. The blue-haired Lady smiled at the mirror again. "Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfect Queen-dom of them all?" She asked smugly. The mirror paused for a moment before solemnly replying. "Well, technically, you're not a Queen. " He had to be honest after all.  
  
Lady Bulma narrowed her eyes dangerously at the face in the glass. "Ah, Sataan." She commanded. Her dim-witted servant held up a small hand mirror and thrust his fist through the pane, shattering the glass. Bulma smirked at the panicking mirror. "You were saying." She drawled out. The mirror stuttered back at her. "Uh, what I mean is, uh, you're not a Queen yet, but, but you can become one. All you have to do, is marry a prince or a princess." He blurted out. The Lady seemed interested. "Go on." She ordered. The mirror let out a nervous laugh. "So, just sit back and relax my Lady, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. And here they are!" The mirror took on a game show host attitude as he described the first silhouetted figure. "Bachelor number one is a mentally troubled young man from a far off castle. He enjoys sushi and hot tubing anytime! His hobbies include cooking and cleaning for his older brother, and he aspires to be a mime. Here's Prince Chautzu!" As the mirror revealed the small, child like prince, Lady Bulma was more than a little put off by his clownish face. The mirror continued on. "Bachelorette number two, is a cape wearing girl from Fire Mountain. Though she dresses in just her underwear, she's not easy. Just get past her mother-like temper and see what a live wire she really is. Come on, give it up for, Princess Chi Chi!" Bulma had to smile at the lovely raven-haired woman that graced the glass before her. There was one more to go though. "And last but not least, bachelor number three is a dark, handsome prince locked away in a lava surrounded castle and guarded by the fire breathing monster Brolli; but don't let that cool you down. He's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Here's Prince Vegeta!" The mirror showed Bulma a young man with sharp, obsidian eyes, wild black hair in a flame like style, and a regal, angular face. The mirror's face then smiled out at the Lady. "So will it be, bachelor number one, bachelorette number two, or bachelor number three?" He asked.  
  
Bulma tried to think about the choice, this would be her husband or wife until death after all. "Oh, oh three? One, no two. No, no three? Umm." She desperately tried to think as her captain and his guards threw out their opinions on which one she should pick. Finally, Sataan called out to her. "Three, pick number three my Lady!" He waved two fingers in the air and then stopped to look at them as Bulma made her choice. " Ok, all right! Ok, uhh number three!" She cried. The mirror smiled a toothy grin at her. "Lady Bulma, you've chosen, Prince Vegeta." He moved aside to show the picture of the prince to Bulma once more. The Lady was quite taken with his dashing good looks and his wistful, if somewhat depressed expression. "Prince Vegeta, he's perfect." She sighed. The mirror suddenly remembered an important fact about the prince. "But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night." He said, but the Lady wasn't paying him any attention. "All I have to do is find someone to go." She trailed off with a small smile on her lips. The mirror tried once more. "Yes, but after sunset." He was cut off by the Lady's hand. "I'll do it, silence!" Bulma smirked to herself. "I will make this Prince Vegeta my king and Capsule will finally have, the perfect Queen! Captain assemble your finest men, we're going to have a tournament!" She cried. 


	4. Chapter Four The Second Quests

Disclaimer ~ ::cackles like a mad man:: They're mine! All mine! Mwahahahahaha! ::sweatdrops at the silence:: Ok OK! I don't own squat. I can dream though! Honto?  
  
A. N. I know it's been a long time since I updated this. I have been swamped with school and a nasty cold..I also spent last weekend writing a special fic for a special person..a living inspiration of mine if you will. Anyways, on with part four! Oh and I'm sorry but I can not put Vegeta in a dress, I know it would be funny, but the thought of him in drag scares me to no end. X_x;  
  
Goku and Radditz finally made their way out of the tall grass surrounding the city of Capsule. The tall saiya-jin tilted his head to the side as he looked up at the looming fortress. Radditz grinned in a triumphant manner. "Oh that's it. That's Capsule, I told you I'd find it!" He crowed. Goku scratched his chin as he stared at the twin towers of the fortress. They were unusually big, wide and round, and very pointy at the tops; they almost reminded him of a certain part of female anatomy. "So, that must be Lady Bulmas' castle." He commented off-handedly. Radditz nodded his head. "Yeah that's the place."  
  
Goku smirked down at his companion. "Do you think maybe she's compensating for something?" He chuckled to himself as he strode forward, ignoring Radditz's confused look. Radditz blinked for a moment before he realized that Goku had moved on. "Hey wait! Wait up Goku!" He cried as he ran to catch up.  
  
The two saiya-jins approached a villager standing in front of what looked like some kind of ticket booth. The human was dressed in an absurd looking costume that was probably an image of Lady Bulma, but if that was the case then the lady lacked much in the looks department. Goku raised his hand and smiled his best at the human. "Hey, you!" He called. The poor villager let out the most horrified shriek Goku had ever heard and went running through the short maze of ropes towards the ticket booth. Goku watched him run and tried to get him to stop by talking to him. "Wait a second! Look, I'm not going to eat you! I just, well I just-" He sighed in defeat and walked through the rope guide. Radditz stifled a laugh as he followed his taller friend. They stopped and shook their heads at the costumed human, who, in his hurry, had run straight into the ticket bar and had knocked himself out cold. Radditz and Goku sidestepped the fallen human and walked through the turn-stall and into  
a very clean and very empty town square.  
  
Goku glanced around at the empty houses, vacant shops, and silent alleys. "It's quiet, too quiet. Where is everybody?" He exclaimed in bewilderment. Radditz looked around and spotted a small booth that read "Information", on a large sign. "Hey look at this!" He yelled as he ran over and pulled the lever. A strange ticking sound, like that of a bomb emitted from within the booth. Radditz showed his saiya-jin bravery by jumping behind Goku and peeking around his elbow at the small structure. Goku was about to shove him away when the ticking stopped and the doors opened to reveal a miniature scene and tiny, mechanical puppets. Radditz grinned and stepped out from behind Goku as the little people began to sing.  
  
"Welcome to Capsule such a perfect town, here we have some rules let us lay them down. Don't make waves stay in line and we'll get along fine. Capsule is a perfect place! Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes wipe your-face. Capsule is, Capsule is, Capsule is a perfect place!" The tiny people ended their song on an annoyingly high note and the doors to the little show shut with a bang and a flash. The flash was actually a welcome picture that popped out of the bottom of the booth. Goku stared at the structure in mute disgust, while Radditz just stared. The smaller saiya-jin suddenly snapped out of his trance and grinned at Goku. "Wow. Let's do that again!" He immediately rushed towards the booth again, stopping only when he was yanked back by his tail. Goku glared at the perky saiya-jin. "No, no! No, no, no." He frowned, as Radditz didn't seem to be listening. He leaned in till he was right in the other saiya-jins face and whispered. "No."  
  
Radditz practically pranced down the pathway as he hummed the catchy theme song that the information booth had sung. Goku could feel the fur on his tail puffing out with his annoyance. Radditz had been humming that damned song non-stop since he had heard it! Goku whipped around and grabbed the other saiya-jin by his mane of hair. "All right, you're going the right way for a smart bottom." He warned. Radditz felt his face heat up with a blush. He lowered his eyes and mumbled. "Sorry `bout that."  
  
Goku released him and they entered into a large courtyard where it seemed that Lady Bulma was giving some sort of speech to a cheering crowd and several dismal looking knights.  
  
The Lady was right in the middle of her announcement. "That champion shall have the honor, no, no, the privilege, to go forth and rescue the lovely, Prince Vegeta, from the fiery keep of the monster Brolli. If for any reason, the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner up shall take his place, and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice, I am willing to make. Let the tournament begin!" Lady Bulma threw her fist into the air as the crowd cheered wildly. She lowered her eyes to her gathered knights and noticed a strange, hairy, pink creature standing in the midst of her warriors. "What is that? It's hideous!" She cried. The crowd gasped as Goku and Radditz looked around, now at the center of everyone's attention. Goku shook his head. "Oh that's not very nice." He chided. Radditz nodded at his friends' remark. "It's just Radditz." Goku continued. The longhaired saiya-jin blinked intelligently. "Huh?"  
  
Bulma sneered down at the monkeys. "Indeed. Knights! New plan, the one that kills the Saiya-jins will be named champion. Have at them!" She bellowed. Radditz and Goku backed up as the knights turned towards them and drew their weapons. The taller saiya-jin backed into a table and picked up a small cup of ale. "Oh come on now, can't we just settle this over a pint?" He asked as he smiled at the unimpressed knights. "No? All right then." He guzzled the drink down and slammed the cup over the nozzle on the giant ale keg, showering the knights with the force of the erupting liquid. "Come on!" He yelled as he slid out over the muddy ground. He knocked several knights over as he slid past them and snatched up a spear.  
  
Radditz had climbed up onto the empty keg and was perched on the rounded top. He was trying to stay out of the way, but as his luck would have it, the barrel began to shift and roll under him. He gulped as he looked over the edge at the two unlucky humans below. The men didn't have time to yell as Radditz unintentionally ran them over with his runaway barrel. The longhaired saiya-jin shrugged his shoulders at Goku as he rolled past him, mowing down another seven knights in the process. He was beginning to enjoy his ride when it came to an abrupt halt as he smashed into a wall. He stood up and shook the stars from his head in time to catch the end of Gokus' fight. The saiya-jin was having a one on ten wrestling match, and he was kicking some serious ass. Radditz cheered his buddy from the sidelines and smirked as the crowd began to cheer with him. Goku threw the last knight out of the ring and lifted his hands up into the air. "Oh yeah! I'm here till Thursday, shred the  
veal!" he snickered at the ecstatic humans.  
  
The crowd went deathly silent as hundreds of crossbows were suddenly aimed at Goku and Radditz. Juunana leaned over and whispered to Bulma. "Shall I give the order ma'am?" He raised an eyebrow as his lady waved her hand at him. "No, I have a better idea." She smiled wickedly for a moment then turned towards the crowd. "People of Capsule, I give you, our champion!" She cried at the cheering crowd.  
  
Goku looked more than confused. "What?" He asked. Radditz lifted an eyebrow quizzically. Lady Bulma smirked at her unlucky monkeys. "Congratulations Saiya-jin, you have won the honor, of embarking on a great and noble quest." She would have continued, but Goku yelled out in indignation. "Quest? I'm all ready on a quest. A quest to get my swamp back!" He growled. Bulma put her offense to the side for a moment as she regarded the hairy beast. "Your swamp?" She asked coolly. Goku was more than angry as he pointed his finger up at the pompous lady. "Yes my swamp! Where you, dumped those Saiya-jins!" He roared. Bulma smirked once more as a plan formed in her mind. "Indeed. All right saiya-jin, I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me and I will give you your swamp back." She smiled, as he seemed to think it over. "Exactly the way it was?" Goku tilted his head as he questioned the lady; he didn't trust her very much. Bulma rolled her eyes. "Down to the last slime covered toad  
stool." She elaborated. Goku narrowed his eyes at her. "And the squatters?" He pushed. "As good as gone." Bulma retorted. Goku glanced at the hundreds of arrows. Even if he made a run for it, he wouldn't get very far. "What kind of quest?" He asked.  
  
Radditz tripped over a sunflower stem but kept himself upright as he walked along behind Goku. "Ok let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a monster and rescue a prince just so Bulma will give you back your swamp, which you only don't have `cause she filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?" He summarized. Goku sighed. "You know what? It might be a good thing if you couldn't talk." He silently hoped Radditz would get his hint. That obviously didn't happen. "I don't get it Goku. Why didn't you just pull some of that level four stuff on her? You know, lay siege to her fortress, throttle her, and grind her bones to make your bread. You know the whole level four trip." He rattled. Goku stopped walking and glared at his companion. "Oh I know what, maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a plate. Get a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?" He asked his now slightly green  
friend. Radditz timidly shook his head. "No, no not really." He muttered. Goku sighed again. "For your information there's a lot more to level four saiya-jins than people think." He shook his head and continued walking. Radditz trotted alongside him. "Example?" he asked. Goku glanced down at him. "Example? Ok, uh, level fours are, like onions." He exclaimed while lowering an onion to Radditz. The other saiya-jin sniffed it and made a face. "They stink?" he asked. Goku smiled. "Yes. No!" He glared at him. Radditz smiled as a new idea struck him. "Oh they make you cry." He said.  
  
Goku felt his eye twitch with irritation. "No!" he yelled. Radditz thought for a second. "Oh you leave `em out in the sun and they get all brown and start sproutin little white heads." He was way off track now. Goku ripped part of the onion off and shook it in his companions' face. "No! Layers! Onions have layers! Level fours have layers! Onions have layers, level four saiya-jins have layers, you get it? We both have layers!" He yelled in exasperation. He threw the onion down and stomped on ahead. Radditz thought about what his friend had said. "Oh, you both have layers." He leaned down and sniffed the onion, then made a face. "You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!" He cried happily as he ran towards his lumbering buddy. Goku turned towards him with a look of annoyance on his face. "I don't care what everyone likes! Level four saiya-jins are not like cakes." He sighed as Radditz just continued on. "You know what else everybody  
likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person and you say, hey let's go get some parfaits and they say hell no, I don't like no parfaits. Parfaits is delicious!" He just went on and on, it was enough to drive a person insane. At least, that's how Goku was feeling at the moment. He snarled at the chatterbox. "No! You dense, irritating, blabbering hairball! Level four saiya-jins are like onions, end of story! Bye bye, see you later." He sneered at the surprised saiya-jin and kept walking. Radditz blinked for a brief moment, then closed his open mouth and ran after Goku. "Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet." He continued. Goku could have pulled his ears out. It was impossible; the idiot just wouldn't shut up. The taller saiya-jin glowered at his chattering companion. "You know, I think I preferred your humming." He growled. Radditz either didn't hear him, or didn't care about his comment. "You have a tissue or something? Cause I'm making me mist.  
Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering." He said with a sniffle. Obviously the conversation had made him more than a little wistful for a parfait. Goku wished he could gag Radditz. He just knew this journey wouldn't be over soon enough.  
  
A. N. Ok that's it for now. Don't worry, Vegeta finally shows up in the next chapter. ^-^ Reviews are very much appreciated! 


	5. Chapter Five Brolli and Vegeta

Disclaimer ~ I never owned them, and I never will. ::sighs sadly::  
  
A. N. Heh ok this is the part we have all been waiting for, Vegeta meets Goku! I believe this one will be one of the longest chapters; I just couldn't break it up any sooner than where I did. As it is, you will probably fuss at me for leaving it off where it is. I found this part to be one of the more humorous sections, but that's just me. Like I said before, Vegeta will NOT be in a dress. X.x; He will be his snooty self though, at least in the beginning. Anyway, enjoy this part, I certainly did. ^-^ Oh yes, this chapter has some rather suggestive things in it, a bit of groping and one suggestive comment. So, don't blame me if you are offended by it, this is after all a yaoi story and it's very tame for me. =)  
  
Goku and Radditz had traveled for about two days when they reached a small gathering of tall, ominous looking mountains covered by angry, billowing black clouds. The two saiya-jins made their way through a steep, twisting pathway up the mountains, which undoubtedly surrounded the castle where Prince Vegeta was being held. The air was thick with the smell of smoke and fire, and something else that was less than pleasant to the nose. Goku led the way up the path; a nervous Radditz crept along behind him. Radditz suddenly reeled back from Goku and waved his hand in front of his face. "Woo, Goku did you do that? Man, you got to warn someone before you just crack one off." He yelled while making a disgusted face. "My mouth was open and everything!" He gagged out. Goku rolled his eyes. "Believe me Radditz, if it were me, you'd be dead." He paused to sniff the air. "It's brimstone. We must be getting close." Goku's voice was quiet as he began to climb up the side of the rocky  
mountain. Radditz snorted and mumbled to himself. "Yeah right, brimstone; don't be talking `bout brimstone, I know what I smelled and it wasn't no brimstone. Didn't come off of no stone neither!" He gave Goku a doubting glance as he climbed up next to him. The two saiya-jins peered over the mountain peak at a dark castle set on a small pile of rock in the midst of a pool of lava. A rickety bridge stretched precariously from the castle to the side of the mountains where Goku and Radditz were. Radditz's tail drooped as he listened to Goku laugh lightly. "Sure it's big enough, but look at the location!" Joked the bigger saiya-jin. Radditz felt the sweat trickle down his face, hands, and back towards his feet as he watched Goku head down to the bridge. He scrambled after his friend and nervously called out to him. "Uh, Goku, remember when you said that level four super -saiya-jins have layers?" He swallowed thickly as Goku glanced back at him. "Oh aye." Replied the taller of the  
two. Radditz took that to mean yes and continued. "Well I have a confession to make-" He gasped and jumped away from a pile of bleached bones. "Normal saiya-jins don't have layers, we wear our fear right out there on our sleeves." He squeaked out.  
  
Goku smirked at his companion. "Wait a second, you don't have sleeves." He said with a grin. Radditz frowned at him. His sleeveless shirt had nothing to do with this. "Oh you know what I mean!" he growled out. Goku raised an eyebrow at his longhaired companion. "You can't tell me you're afraid of heights." He said in disbelief. Radditz felt the sweat level on his skin increase tenfold as he peeked over the edge of the rocks. "No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety old bridge over a boiling lake of lava!" He eyed the bridge with mistrust and then paled as he gazed into the swirling depths of liquid flame below. Goku smiled at the quaking saiya-jin. "Come on Radditz, I'm right here beside you, for, emotional support. We'll tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time." He spoke reassuringly to Radditz, but the saiya-jin didn't move till Goku slapped his rear. Radditz jumped from the smack and ended up on the bridge. He felt like he would  
faint any second, but he glanced over his shoulder at Goku and took a breath. "Really?" He asked. Goku smiled at him. "Really really." He assured him. Radditz took another breath and stepped forward slowly. "Oh, that makes me feel so much better." He said. Talking always helped him through any situation.  
  
A snort was heard from behind Radditz as Goku tried not to laugh at his fearful companion. "Just keep moving and don't look down." He instructed. Radditz marched steadily, if slowly, across the decayed planks. "Keep moving, don't look down. Keep moving, don't look down." He repeated under his breath. His foot landed on a weakened board that gave under his weight. Radditz was suddenly looking straight into the red-hot lava. He let out a gasp as his eyes widened. "Goku! I'm looking down!" He screamed hysterically as he leapt around and gave Goku a terrified look. God I can't do this! Just let me off right now, please!" He cried. Goku tried to reason with him. "But you're all ready half-way." He said. Radditz pointed his finger past Goku. "Yeah but I know that half is safe!" He retorted. Goku rolled his eyes. "Ok, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back." He said calmly. Radditz tried to get around him, but every time Goku stepped to the side, Radditz stepped to the same  
side, there really wasn't enough room for them to get side-by-side. "Goku, no wait. No, no Goku! Wait!" Radditz yelled. Goku was making the bridge bounce and sway as he tried to move, and it was only freaking the poor saiya-jin out more. Goku grinned wickedly at Radditz. "Come on Radditz, oh let's have a dance then shall we? Radditz come on!" He yelled and gave the bridge a vicious swing to the left. Radditz's stubby tail puffed out for all it was worth. "No! Goku don't do that!" He shrieked. Goku gave him a somewhat concerned look. "Oh I'm sorry, do what? Oh this?" He swung the bridge again, this time to the right. Radditz glared at him, as the bridge became steady again. "Yes that!" He snarled. Goku smiled evilly. "Yes, do it. Ok." He smirked and violently swung the old bridge from side to side. Radditz covered his face with his hands and sobbed to himself. "No! Goku! Oh God I'm gonna die!" He suddenly felt his feet step onto something firm and unmoving. Radditz peeked  
through his fingers and found that he was on solid rock, on the other side of the bridge! He had made it! "Oh!" He said in relief as Goku bent down to look him in the eyes. Goku smirked while patting Radditz's pale cheek. "That'll do Radditz, that'll do." He strode towards the castle; leaving Radditz to stare after him in a slightly dazed manner. Radditz let out a small laugh. "Cool." He shook himself out of his shocked state and ran after his friend. "So where is this fire-breathing pain in the neck anyway?" He asked. Goku waved a hand at the castle. "Inside, waiting for us to rescue him." He replied. Radditz laughed mockingly. "I was talking about Brolli, Goku."  
  
Radditz crept next to Goku as they walked through the crumbling castle. Stray bones and burnt armor littered the stony ground. "You afraid?" Radditz asked in a hushed voice. Goku made an annoyed face and turned to the chatterbox. "No, but shh!" He ordered. Radditz puffed out his chest. "Oh good, me neither!" He glanced about and realized that Goku had left him alone. "Ah!" He nearly collided with Goku as he ran up behind him. "Course, there's nothing wrong with being afraid. I think it's a sensible response given the situation. Unfamiliar, dangerous situation, I might add. And with Brolli, who breathes fire-" He jumped away from the charred remains of a knight and kept talking. "Who breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. You know what I mean? `Cause I sure as hell ain't no coward, I know that." He ranted to himself and to Goku. If he had been paying attention instead of talking, he wouldn't have crashed into a pile of dead knights and  
smoked armor. Radditz screamed again as he came face to face with a toothy skull.  
  
Goku clapped his hand over Radditz's mouth. "Radditz! Two things ok? Shut up." He let go of the frightened saiya-jin and pulled the helmet off his head, placing it on his own as he waved Radditz away. "Now go over there and see if you can find some stairs." He directed while putting more of the armor over his body. Radditz looked confused. "Stairs? I thought we was looking for the prince?" He questioned. Goku tugged a glove over his right hand. "The prince will be up the stairs, in the highest room, in the tallest tower." He said while putting on the left glove. Radditz gave him a quizzical look. "What makes you think he'll be there?" He asked. Goku turned towards the inner courtyard. "I read it in a book once." He called back.  
  
A grin spread over Radditz's face. "Well cool. You handle Brolli, I'll handle the stairs." He was suddenly filled with confidence as he marched deeper into the castle. "Oh I'll find those stairs, I'll whip they butt too! That's right, those stairs wont know which way they going! Take drastic steps. Kick `em to the curb. Don't mess with me, I'm the stair master! I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right here and now, I'd step all over it!" He boasted aloud. If he had not been posing and crowing about taking over stairs; he would have noticed the abnormally tall, muscular figure that was now watching him with interest.  
  
Radditz got an eerie feeling, like he was being watched. He turned slowly to look behind him.  
  
Goku stood in the inner courtyard of the castle and stared up at the central tower. High above everything else it loomed, and a tiny window shed light into the dark sky. "Well, at least we know where the prince is, but where's the-" He was cut off by a scream from within the castle.  
  
"Brolli!" Shrieked Radditz as he turned tail and bolted from the angry, large creature. He screamed wildly as he ran straight for Goku. A heavily muscled creature that looked like he was almost nine feet tall came crashing after him; its long, golden hair billowed in the wind as it opened its mouth to shoot a stream of fire-like energy at Radditz's head. Goku's eyes widened as the flames approached. "Radditz look out!" He yelled, pushing the surprised and scared saiya-jin down. He yelped and jumped out of the way just in time to avoid the flames himself. Radditz crouched down on his hands and knees. His stub of a tail stood straight up and unfortunately got singed by the fiery blast. "Ahh!" He yelped in both fear and pain. Brolli snarled angrily as he stepped towards the fallen Radditz. He was about to fry the cowering saiya-jin when a smirking Goku yanked on his long, blonde tail. Brolli reached behind his back and grabbed Goku's belt. He swung his arm up and sent the  
shocked saiya-jin sailing through the air. Goku yelled out as he crashed through the roof of the tower and landed with a thud on the floor. A slight body sat up on a large bed and stared curiously at him.  
  
Brolli was shooting flames after a fleeing Radditz. He was mildly amused by the smaller creatures comical way of escaping, which was running around with his hands waving over his head as he screamed his lungs out, hair flapping behind him, and tail puffed out like a cotton ball. Brolli floated up next to the freaked out saiya-jin as he ran across a narrow stone bridge. Radditz let out a gasp when his escape was literally kicked out from under him. He barely had enough time to jump onto another part of the bridge before it too was sent into the lava below by one of Brolli's massive kicks. Radditz looked around himself in fear. All his escapes were gone; he was standing on a piece of bridge that was barely wide enough for his feet. To make matters worse, Brolli was now looming over him and snarling. Smoke curled out from his nostrils as he bared his sharp teeth. Radditz felt like fainting. "Ah! Oh! Wah! No, no, oh no! Ah!" He cringed as Brolli snapped his teeth at him. "Oh  
what large teeth you have! I mean, I mean white, sparkling teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something, `cause that is one dazzling smile you got there, and do I detect a hint of minty freshness?" Radditz chattered away in a frantic attempt to flatter his way out of death. Surprisingly, Brolli was no longer snapping and growling at him; instead, he was looking at him with a sly smile. He waved his long tail at Radditz as the nervous saiya-jin coughed. Radditz blinked at the furry appendage. "You know what else? You're, you're, a saiya-jin!" He gave Brolli a cheesy grin. "Well sure! I mean uh, of course you're a saiya-jin, cause, you're just reeking of saiya-jin power and uh-" Radditz tilted his head back as Brolli leaned in, leering down at him and batting his eyes? Radditz felt sweat build up on the back of his neck. "What's a matter, you got something in your eyes?" He asked. Brolli grinned and blew a smoke ring in the  
shape of a heart out of his mouth at Radditz. The dark-haired saiya-jin felt his tail fuzz out as he watched the smoke heart travel towards him. "Hey, oh, whoa! Man I'd really love to stay, but, uh, I'm an asthmatic and uh, I don't know if it would work. You gonna be blowing smoke rings and stuff." He turned his head and yelled frantically. "Goku!"  
  
Brolli smirked to himself as he casually grabbed Radditz and laid him over his shoulder. He sauntered into the castle while running a hand over a hyperventilating Radditz's rear. "No Goku! Goku! Ahh!" Radditz cried in vain as he was carried away into the dark castle.  
  
Goku slowly stood up from the rubble on the floor and brushed the dirt and debris off his chest. He didn't notice the prince, who was grinning like a mad man at him. Vegeta flopped back onto the bed. He then reached over and snatched some flowers out of the vase on the nightstand and laid back down, closing his eyes as if asleep. He was so excited he could barely keep still. His rescuer had finally come! He was perfectly still as Goku approached his small form and leaned down over him. Vegeta slowly puckered his lips; this was it. Goku put his hands on the slim, rounded shoulders and firmly shook the short prince. Vegeta felt his eyes swirl as he yelled out in shock. "Ah! What?" He gazed up in confusion at the large man above him. "Wake up! Are you prince Vegeta?" Asked the man in a tired voice. Vegeta smiled at him. "I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me." He replied. Goku smiled warmly at the prince. "Oh that's nice, now let's go!" He yelled and turned for the  
door. Vegeta reached out to him and tried to change his mind. "But wait! Sir knight, this be-ath our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?" He asked. Goku raised an eyebrow at the prince who was now lying on his bed in a very provocative position. One arm was slung over his forehead, curved hips pushed up into the air and feet pointed towards the end of the bed. His come-hither stare was also unnerving to the saiya-jin. Goku walked back over to the bed and took hold of the prince's wrist. "Yeah, sorry princey." He said flatly while dragging the slight body off the bed. Vegeta cried out indignantly as he was hauled over to the door. "Hey! What are you doing? You know you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window! Down a rope onto your valiant steed!" He huffed as Goku gave him a surprised look. "You've had a lot of time to plan this out, haven't you?" he asked. Vegeta nodded and grinned at him. Goku rammed his shoulder into the locked door,  
breaking it open. He then dragged Vegeta down the stairs. Vegeta tried to reason with his strange rescuer as he stumbled along behind him. "But we have to savor this moment! You could, recite a lovely poem for me, a ballad, a sonnet, a limerick, or something!" He ended with a snarl and jerked his aching wrist from Goku's hand. The saiya-jin shook his head at the annoyed prince. "I don't think so." He said. Vegeta ran a hand through his wild, up-spiked hair. "Well, can I at least know the name of my champion?" He asked. Goku shrugged at him. "Goku." He said. Vegeta smoothed out his shirt and lifted his chin. "Sir Goku." He pulled a blue handkerchief from his pocket and held it out to the bewildered knight. "I pray that you take this favor, as a token of my gratitude." He explained. Goku reached out and took the cloth. "Uh, thanks." He replied as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. The visor on his helmet was making it terribly hot in there. He handed the sweat stained  
handkerchief back to the prince. Vegeta took the cloth and wrinkled his nose in disgust at it. His comment was lost in the sound of Brolli's roar. Vegeta gaped at Goku. "You didn't slay Brolli?!" He cried in shock and disbelief. Goku grabbed his hand and began to run again. "It's on my to do list now come on!" Vegeta waved his free hand in the air as he chided the tall knight. "But this isn't right! You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying, that's what all the other knights did!" He explained. Goku glanced at a fallen knight, whose smoke-lined profile was stained against the burned wall. "Yeah, right before they burst into flames!" He retorted. Vegeta frowned. "You know, that's not the point." He let out a grunt as Goku halted and let go of his hand. The knight then began to glance around as if he were looking for something. The sound of another roar made him head towards a closed door to the right. Vegeta gaped at him. "What are you, where are you going? The  
exits over there!" He shouted. Goku turned towards him and shrugged his shoulders. "I have to grab my monkey." He said. Vegeta flushed and glared at him. "What kind of knight are you?" He snapped. Goku lifted a finger at him and grinned. "One of a kind."  
  
Radditz was surprised he hadn't passed out yet. Brolli was even more frightening now then when he had been trying to roast him. At least then he wasn't pinned to the floor, and Brolli wasn't being too careful with his hands either. "Look, look, slow down baby please, look I believe it's healthy to get to know someone, for a long period of time. Just call me old-fashioned you know. I don't wanna, you know, rush into a, a physical relationship. I'm not ready for uh, a commitment of this, uh magnitude, really is the word I'm looking for, magnitude." Radditz gulped as he felt Brolli's magnitude through the large saiya-jins pants and through his shirt against his stomach. Brolli smirked at his prisoner and reached down to stroke his face with the back of his hand. Radditz glared at him. "Hey that is unwanted physical contact!" He yelled. He then watched Brolli light the candles on a chandelier above them with his breath. He began to sweat again as the large saiya-jin bent down  
towards him again. "Hey, what are you doing? Ok, ok listen! Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. I mean we really should get to know each other first, you know as friends or maybe even pen pals! `Cause I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards to read, and oh! You know I would really love to stay but- " Radditz trailed off as Brolli reached down to squeeze his backside, he felt the large hand travel up his rear to his stub of a tail and give it a playful tug. Radditz gasped. "Hey, hey, hey! Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail, boy you're gonna tear it off!" He growled as his tail was gently tugged on again.  
  
Unbeknownst to Radditz and Brolli, Goku was sneaking above them and trying to figure out how to get Radditz away. He grabbed onto the chain that held the chandelier while Radditz blabbered nervously at Brolli. "I don't give permission to-hey! What are you gonna do with that? Hey now, no wait, wait, ah, ah no! No, no, no, no!" He yelled as Brolli lifted him off the floor and leaned in to kiss him. Radditz shut his eyes and pulled his head back. He let out a startled grunt as he was suddenly flung to the floor, and he hadn't been kissed. He opened his eyes to watch in shock as Brolli kissed Goku instead of him. Brolli opened his eyes and smiled down at-wait a second, this was not his Radditz! He roared in anger as Goku jumped away from him and ran with Radditz up the stairs and towards the door. Goku let go of the chain he had used to swing down and kick Radditz away with. When he did that, the chandelier fell from the ceiling and landed on Brolli, fitting snugly around his  
waist. Brolli barreled after his escaping Radditz; hissing, roaring and shooting fire as he went.  
  
Goku snatched Radditz up under his arm and ran out of the room. He grabbed Vegeta as he passed by the confused prince. Radditz peered out from his hair, which had fallen over his face and waved at Vegeta. "Hi princey!" He smiled at the blinking prince. "It talks!" Vegeta said in astonishment at the mound of hair. Goku snorted. "Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick." He slid down a fallen pillar and groaned as a cracked piece of the structure smacked against his groin. He managed to keep going though, leading Brolli on a not so merry chase through the hundreds of pillars in the castle. He set Vegeta and Radditz down and pushed them towards the exit. "Ok you two, head for the exit! I'll take care of Brolli." He picked up a sword as Vegeta and Radditz ran for the bridge. As soon as they were gone, Goku slammed the sword into the links of the chain that was strung all along the pillars of the room; it was the chain that connected to the chandelier stuck around  
Brolli's chest. Goku dashed after the others and the three of them bolted over the bridge as Brolli blew a blast of fire at them. "Run!" Goku ordered. The three of them dashed over the bridge, just a step ahead of the burning cloud. The bridge held out for a few seconds, but the flames and the weight of the bodies made it snap. Goku, Vegeta and Radditz clung to their half of the bridge as it fell through the air. Radditz lost his grip when the wooden bridge slammed into the mountainside. He screamed as he plummeted towards the lava. Goku caught him by his tail as he passed him. Brolli came charging out after them. The chain snapped up and caught against the pillars in the castle; the sword acting like an anchor as it shortened the length of Brolli's rope. The ultimate level saiya-jin howled desperately for Radditz as he was held back by the chain. Radditz had finally passed out though, and couldn't hear him as Goku carried him up the bridge and over the mountaintop.  
  
Vegeta slid down the hillside and onto the small cliff-edge. He grinned happily and spun in a quick circle. "You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing, you're wonderful, you're-" He trailed off as Goku threw Radditz down the hill and then slid into him, knocking him out of his unconscious state and onto a rock. Vegeta rubbed the back of his head. "A little unorthodox, I'll admit, but, thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt." He bowed gracefully before Goku, completely unaware that Radditz was looking his perfectly rounded butt over with an admiring glance. Radditz turned his head to the side and coughed. "Ahem." He grinned as Vegeta turned and wrapped his arms around his neck. "And where would a brave knight be without his noble squire?" He asked as he hugged Radditz. The longhaired saiya-jin beamed at Goku. "Awww right, I hope you heard that! He called me a noble squire. He thinks I'm a squire!" He grinned stupidly as Goku rolled his eyes.  
Vegeta stood up and stepped towards Goku. "The battle is won, you may remove your helmet, good sir knight." He frowned as Goku backed up. "Ah, no." He said nervously. Vegeta was confused. "Why not?" He asked. Goku pointed to the top of his helmet. "I have helmet hair." He said lamely. Vegeta smiled at him. "Please, I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer." He said. Goku waved a finger at him. "Oh no you wouldn't." He said. Vegeta lowered his gaze for a moment then shyly peered up at Goku. "But, how will you kiss me?" He asked. Goku nearly tripped over the rocks as he stumbled back. "What? That wasn't in the job description!" He glanced at Radditz for help. The other saiya-jin grinned at him. "Maybe it's a perk!" He tried. Vegeta waved his finger at them. "No, it's destiny. Oh you must know how it goes! A prince, locked in a tower and beset by a monster is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share, true loves first kiss." He smiled at Goku, who looked more than  
nervous. Radditz shook his head. "With Goku? Wait, whoa hold on, you think Goku is your true love?" He asked. Vegeta nodded. "Well, yes." He frowned as Radditz and Goku stared at each other and began to laugh. "What's so funny?" He demanded. Radditz fell over and kicked his legs in the air as he laughed. "You think Goku is your true love!" He gasped out between giggles. Goku chuckled and looked at the annoyed prince. "Let's just say, I'm not your type, ok?" He took a breath to calm his laughter. Vegeta shook his head and stepped forward. "Of course you are. You're my rescuer, now, now remover your helmet." He smiled as he spoke. Goku waved his hands in front of him. "Look, I really don't think this is a good idea." He said. Vegeta sighed. "Just take off the helmet." He said. Goku crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not going to." He said stubbornly. Vegeta glared at him. "Take it off." He ordered. Goku turned his head to the side. "No!" He replied. Vegeta looked enraged as  
he bellowed. "NOW!"  
  
Goku and Radditz both looked shocked by the power in the small prince's voice. "Ok! Easy! As you command, your highness." Goku droned out while lifting his helmet from his face. Vegeta's eyes widened as he took in the wild hair, the strange golden eyes, and the pinkish fur that lined the sides of his neck. He frowned sadly as Goku gave him his best smile. "You, you're a, a saiya-jin." He said dismally. Goku lifted an eyebrow at him. "Oh, you were expecting prince charming?" He asked the now annoyed Vegeta. "Well, yes actually. Oh no, this is all wrong! You're not supposed to be a saiya-jin!" He cried in dismay. Goku sighed. "Prince Vegeta, I was sent to rescue you by Lady Bulma. She's the one who wants to marry you." He explained. Vegeta stared at him. "Then why didn't she come rescue me?" He asked. Goku shrugged his shoulders. "Good question. You should ask her that when we get there." He replied. Vegeta frowned. "But I have to be rescued by my true love! Not by some  
saiya-jin and his lackey!" He snapped. Radditz glared at the prince. "Well so much for noble squire." He muttered. Goku sighed again. "Look Princey, you're not making my job any easier." He frowned as Vegeta walked over to a pile of large rocks. "Well I'm sorry but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lady Bulma that if she wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for her right here!" He crossed his arms and sat down on one of the rocks. Goku growled as he threw the rest of the armor off and stomped over to the prince. "Hey! I'm nobodies messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy." He growled into the prince's face. Vegeta sneered at him. "You wouldn't dare." He challenged. The prince let out a yelp as Goku easily lifted him off the rock and laid him over his shoulder. Goku called back to the surprised Radditz. "You coming Radditz?" He asked. Vegeta glared at him. "Put me down!" He commanded. Radditz grinned and trotted along behind them. "Yup I'm right behind  
you!" He replied. Vegeta smacked the back of Goku's shoulders with his fists. "Put me down or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down!" He let out an angry shriek and kicked his legs in an attempt to get Goku in the face. The tall saiya-jin pinned the prince's thighs against his chest and frowned at his screams of outrage. This was going to be a long trip.  
  
A. N. Wow! That was long! ::falls over and pants as he pulls his fingers from the keyboard:: Heh, it was fun though. Review please. I love those little comments and besides, I want to know what you thought of Vegeta. Heh and don't worry, if you've seen the movie, then you know Brolli will be ok. See you next time minna! 


	6. Chapter six The First Day

Disclaimer ~ I don't own anything! Not even my shrine! I just use the space! Sue me and you will receive diddlysquat!  
  
N. This chapter is sort of short. Not to worry though, I'll get more out soon, ^-^  
  
  
  
Vegeta sighed boredly as he listened to Radditz chatter away at him. Goku was still holding him over his shoulder and after yelling and fighting for several miles; the prince had exhausted himself and settled down. He gazed at Radditz through half-lidded eyes. "Ok, so here's another question. Say there's a guy that digs you right, but you don't really like him that way, how do you let him down real easy so his feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten. How do you do that?" He asked. Radditz watched earnestly as Vegeta thought for a few seconds. The prince waved his hand in the air as he spoke. "You just tell him he's not your true love. Everyone knowest what happens when you find your- whoa, ah! Hey!" He yelped as Goku's shoulder jerked, bouncing him roughly. Vegeta glared silently at his smirking captor. He tossed his head into the air and remarked in a snide tone. "The sooner we get to Capsule the better." Radditz grinned at the arrogant, annoyed prince. "Oh yeah, you gonna love it there princey! It's beautiful!" He said cheerfully. Vegeta grinned down at him and tilted his head to the side. "And what of my bride to be, Lady Bulma, what's she like?" He asked eagerly. Goku slowed his pace as they got to a small swamp. He cut in before Radditz could respond to Vegeta. "Well, let me put it this way princey." He hid a smirk as he unceremoniously dropped Vegeta on his butt and walked over to the water. He splashed some on his face and continued. "Women of Bulma's stature are in, small demand." Radditz snickered at Goku's reference to the lady's flat chest. He grinned and felt the need to add his own comment. "I don't know Goku, there are those who think little of her." He and the taller saiya-jin chuckled merrily as Vegeta glared at them. The prince was idly rubbing his rear as he listened to them berate his future wife. He scowled darkly. "Stop it, stop it both of you! You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great woman like Lady Bulma." He sneered. Radditz made a confused face as he thought about this, but Goku just nodded to the prince. "Yeah well, maybe you're right princey, but I'll let you do the 'measuring', when you see her tomorrow." He said off-handedly as Radditz giggled. Vegeta suddenly looked panicky. "Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop somewhere to make camp?" He asked in a nervous tone. Goku raised an eyebrow at him. "No, that'll take longer. We can keep moving." He said calmly and started off again. Vegeta glanced frantically at the setting sun. He tried again. "But, there's, robbers in the woods!" He was really fishing for a reason now. Radditz was concerned at the thought of murderous robbers cutting his throat while he tramped through the dark woods. He grabbed onto Goku's arm and stared at him with wide eyes. "Whoa, time out Goku! Camping is definitely starting to sound good!" He stated. Goku frowned at him. "Hey come on! I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest." He reminded his smaller companion. Radditz was reassured now, but Vegeta was more upset than ever. He dashed around the trees and cut the two saiya-jins off. "I need to find a place to camp NOW!" He roared at them. Goku and Radditz looked into each other's wide shocked eyes and then down at the seething prince.  
  
Goku had finally found a suitable looking cave for Vegeta to camp in. He pulled the rock away from the opening and yelled out to Radditz and the prince. "hey, over here!" Radditz narrowed his eyes at the small, dark, dismal cave. "Goku, we can do better than that! Now I don't think this is fit for a prince." He hissed. Vegeta glanced at the setting sun and felt sweat building up on the back of his neck. "No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches." He babbled quickly. Goku and Radditz gave him an odd look. "Homey touches?" Repeated the larger saiya-jin. He scratched his head and looked inside the cave. "Like what?" He asked. Vegeta ran past them and ripped a large piece of bark from a tree. "A door." He said as he walked back to the cave. He smiled politely as he walked backwards into the cave and pulled the door firmly against the opening. "Well gentlemen, I bid thee goodnight." He said as the door locked into place. Radditz leaned towards the door. "Uh, you want me to come in there and read you a bedtime story?" He asked hopefully. Vegeta snarled back at him. "I said goodnight!" Radditz sighed and stepped back. He glanced in confusion at a smirking Goku that was trying to push the boulder back over the cave entrance. Radditz's eyes widened. "Goku! What are you doing?!" He hissed in shock. Goku laughed softly. "I was just, oh you know, I was just kidding!" He huffed and walked away. Radditz shook his head.  
  
Goku and Radditz lay on their backs and stared up at the thousands of twinkling stars. The fire behind them popped and crackled in its pit. Radditz glanced over at his friend. "Hey Goku, what we gonna do when we get our swamp back?" He asked. Goku gave him a quizzical look. "Our swamp?" He questioned. Radditz waved his hand in the air like the prince would do. "You know, when we through with rescuing the prince and all that stuff." He explained. Goku turned over to face his companion. "We? Radditz, there's no we, there's no our, it's just me and my swamp, and the first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land." He said, ignoring the slightly hurt look Radditz was giving him. The smaller saiya-jin sighed. "Ya cut me deep Goku, ya cut me real deep just now." He grinned a bit. "You know what I think, I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out." He leaned over and smiled down at Goku, who looked irritated. "No, you think?" Goku said sarcastically as he rolled over. Radditz popped his head in front of him again. "Are you hiding something?" He asked slyly. Goku rolled back the other way. "Never mind Radditz." He warned. Radditz peeked at him and grinned. "Oh this another one of those onion things." He said. Goku growled softly as he rolled over once more. "No, this is one of those drop it and leave it alone things." He growled out. Radditz looked him in the eyes. "Well why don't you want to talk about it?" He asked. Goku sat up and glared at him. "Why do you want to talk about it?" He snapped. Radditz countered with another question. "Well why are you blocking?" Goku replied defensively. "I'm not blocking." Radditz raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh yes you are." He said matter-of-factly. Goku snarled at the smaller saiya-jin. "Radditz, I'm warning you." Radditz gave his friend a suspicious look. "Who you trying to keep out? Just tell me that, Goku, who?" He pressed. Goku threw his hands into the air and yelled at the other saiya-jin. "Everyone! Ok?" He glared at Radditz as the other saiya-jin blinked widened eyes and then grinned. "Oh now we getting somewhere." He said. Goku wanted to just disappear. "Oh for the love of Pete!" He complained as he stomped over to the cliff edge and sat down.  
  
Vegeta had heard the commotion outside and carefully cracked open the door to the cave. He leaned over just enough to see Goku and Radditz and listened quietly.  
  
Radditz narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Hey what's your problem Goku? What you got against the whole world anyway?" He asked. Goku sighed heavily. "I'm not the one with the problem all right? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go 'Ah! Help! Run! A big stupid, ugly saiya-jin!' They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone." He said sadly.  
  
Vegeta looked down at the ground. He was suddenly feeling very guilty for his earlier actions towards his two rescuers, Goku in particular. He silently pulled the door closed and went to bed.  
  
Radditz sat down next to his taller friend and laid a hand on his shoulder. "You know what? When we met, I didn't think you were just a big, stupid, ugly saiya-jin." He said softly. Goku nodded. "Yeah, I know." He mumbled. The two of them went back to watching the stars and talking about the stories that each celestial body told. As they talked, their mood improved and the rest of the evening passed in a more cheerful manner.  
  
  
  
A. N. Ok that was chapter six! As my Mistress would say..BWEEEE! This is coming along nicely. Heh I can't wait for the next part, if you've seen the movie then you know what's next. ::laughs:: See you then minna! 


	7. Chapter Seven The Great Saiya-man, and...

Disclaimer ~ I OWN IT ALL! DO YOU HEAR ME?! MINE MINE! THEY ARE ALL MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! ::Clears his throat:: Now if any of you ningens believe that..you're dumber than I thought you were.  
  
N. This is the next chapter obviously. No real comments except a thank you for all the reviews and a note for Nekoni. Here's the update! I swear, neko's are so bossy! Hmph! ::Smirks:: Enjoy minna.  
  
  
  
As the three travelers were sleeping on their cliff, Lady Bulma was enjoying herself in her spacious bedroom. She had several outfits that were all ready made for her and her future husband; a formal set and a wedding set. There was also a painting of her and Vegeta hanging over the fireplace. She was currently watching the picture of the prince on the mirrors glass for about the fiftieth time. "Show me again." Bulma ordered. The mirror raised his eyebrow at her. Lady Bulma rephrased her order. "Mirror mirror show him to me, show me the prince!" She commanded. With an inaudible sigh, the mirror complied. Bulma took a long sip of her martini, her favorite drink that she had made at the private bar in her bedroom. "Ah, perfect." She whispered as she stared at the picture before her.  
  
The sun had risen just moments before Vegeta silently pushed the door of his small cave open and stepped out. He glanced over at the snoozing saiya- jins and grinned, then ran off into the woods. He felt so alive, so free, and so happy. He spun around in a quick circle and smiled at the golden sunshine. Then he began to sing. Surprisingly, he wasn't that bad. A small bluebird flitted up on a branch and joined the prince in his short song. Vegeta led the bird on a rising chorus; unfortunately for the bird, the prince's final, shrieking, off-key note was just too much. The little bird bloated out from the strain and exploded. Vegeta stared at the smoldering legs that still clung to the branch as a few smoked feathers floated through the air. He then looked down at the eggs that were left in the nest. He couldn't leave them alone; they would get cold and die without their mother.  
  
Vegeta poked at the eggs frying on the small stone over the fire he had started. He smiled as he inhaled the smell of food. Goku rolled over and sniffed the air in his sleep. He sat up and opened his eyes to see the prince hunched over a tiny fire, cooking. He blinked and then glanced at Radditz who was making odd sounds and kicking in his sleep. "Mmm, yeah you know I like it like that. Mmm oh come on baby I said ride-" Radditz's sleep talk was hushed by Goku's large hand. The taller saiya-jin felt his face getting red as he glanced at the prince and hoped he had not heard Radditz's dream. "Radditz wake up!" Goku hissed at the sleepy saiya-jin. Radditz slowly blinked open his eyes. "Huh, what?" He mumbled. Goku snickered. "Wake up." He said. Radditz gave him a look that clearly showed he wasn't up yet. "Oh, what?" He said in a dazed voice. Goku shook his head. Vegeta glanced over at them and smiled. "Morning. How do you like your eggs?" He asked cheerfully. Radditz jumped up and grinned at him. "Good morning princey!" He gushed. Goku wasn't nearly so perky as he looked at Vegeta. "What's all this about?" He asked while waving his hand at the eggs. Vegeta gave him a soft smile. "You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday, and I wanted to make it up to you. I mean after all, you did rescue me." He spoke softly as he placed the hot eggs down for them. Goku scratched the back of his head and blinked. "Uh, thanks." He mumbled. Vegeta grinned at him. "Well eat up. We've got a big day a head of us." He said. Goku and Radditz shrugged their shoulders at each other and ate their breakfast.  
  
The forest was peaceful in the morning; the animals went about their activities and the birds sang happily as the cool breeze blew through the trees. The serenity was shattered by a loud belch that erupted from Goku as he walked a long the road. "Goku!" Radditz cried. Goku gave him an odd look. "What? It's a compliment. Better in than out I always say." He smiled at the prince as he spoke. Vegeta surpressed a chuckle as he listened to Radditz admonish Goku. "That's no way to behave in front of a prince!" Radditz snapped. Vegeta ruined the smaller saiya-jins efforts by belching nearly as loudly as Goku had. "Thanks." He said to Goku as he walked past the pleasantly shocked saiya-jin. Radditz stared on in disbelief. "He's as nasty as you are." He muttered. Goku laughed a bit at that and gave the prince a small grin. "You know, you're not exactly what I expected." He said. Vegeta returned the tiny smile as he replied. "Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them." He winked at the slightly confused saiya-jins and walked on. He started to sing the same song he had sung with the bird as he walked a long; he was cut short as a strange man in a green tunic and a red cape swung down on a vine and whisked him off the road. Vegeta yelped in both surprise and anger as the man landed on a tree branch with him. The prince glared at the tall stranger. "What are you doing?" He demanded angrily. The guy grinned at him and lowered his sunshades to wink at the short-tempered prince. "Be still Cherie, for I am your savior, and I am rescuing you from this pink beast." He said in a lame French accent. What was more annoying to Vegeta was the fact that the man had slobbered kisses all up his right arm and was now closing in on his face. The prince had never felt more in need of rescuing than he felt now. Vegeta growled at the strange man. Just then, Goku and Radditz ran over to the base of the tree and yelled up at them. "Hey! That's my prince! Go find your own!" He snarled. The man gave Goku an annoyed look. "Ha! Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?" He shooed at the two saiya-jins, unaware of Vegeta's enraged look. "Oh! Look pal, I don't know who you think you are-" Vegeta's rant was cut short by the man. "Ah of course, how rude of me. Please let me introduce myself." He said to the irate prince. He then yelled over his shoulder. "Oh Merry Men!" He grinned as several men jumped out from the bushes, one playing an accordion, and began to dance and sing. The strange man, known as the Great Saiya-man, led them in a rousing song and several absurd poses; he then took out a small knife and sang about how he would kill Goku. Just as he was crooning out a long note, Vegeta swung down on a vine and kicked him in the head. The Great Saiya-man smacked a rock and fell to the ground, unconscious. Vegeta smirked at the fallen body. "Man that was annoying." He huffed. One of the men behind him glared at him. "Why you little-" He rushed at the prince and was swiftly knocked to the ground like his leader. The rest of the men were all on the ground in less than five minutes; courtesy of Vegeta's impressive karate kicks and flying fists. When the prince realized that he had knocked them all out, he smiled nonchalantly at Goku and Radditz. "Ahem, um, shall we?" He said off-handedly as he walked past them. Goku stared after him in shock. "Hold the phone." He dropped Radditz, who had jumped into his arms when an arrow was shot in their direction, and ran after Vegeta. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on now." He caught up to the prince and gave him a confused look. "Where did that come from?" He asked. Vegeta smiled at him. "What?" He asked while shrugging his shoulders. Goku waved his hand back towards the fallen bodies. "That, back there, that was amazing!" He smiled broadly at the short prince. Vegeta grinned, trying desperately to hold back his blush. "Where did you learn that?" Goku asked, still amazed. Vegeta thought quickly as he tried to explain himself. "Well, when one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things, in case there's, there's an arrow in your butt!" Vegeta completely confused Goku with his strange explanation. "What?!" He cried. He glanced at his behind where the prince was pointing and raised his eyebrow at the shaft of wood protruding from his posterior. "Oh, would you look at that." He mumbled in surprise. He tried to tug it out and yelped at the sudden pain in his rear. Vegeta looked horrified. "Oh no, this is all my fault! I'm so sorry." He said sadly as Radditz joined them. "Why? What's wrong?" He asked. Vegeta sighed. "Goku's hurt." He mumbled. Radditz felt the color drain from his face. "Goku's hurt? Goku's hurt! Oh no! Goku's gonna die!" He cried in a panic. Goku rolled his eyes. "Radditz I'm ok." He said. Radditz wasn't listening; he was in a blind panic by now. "Oh you can't do this to me Goku! I'm too young for you to die! Keep your legs elevated, turn your head and cough." He ranted while Goku just rolled his eyes again. "Does anyone know the Heimlich?" He raved wildly. Vegeta grabbed hold of him by the shoulders and looked him in the face while shaking him firmly. "Radditz calm down! If you want to help Goku, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns." He ordered. Radditz nodded his head rapidly. "Blue flower with red thorns. Ok I'm on it! Don't die Goku, and if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!" He cried. Goku and Vegeta gave the hysterical saiya-jin twin glares. "Radditz!" They growled. Radditz blinked. "Oh yeah, blue flower, red thorns." He mumbled to himself as he dashed off into the trees. Goku scratched his head. "What are the flowers for?" He asked. Vegeta gave him a sly smirk. "For getting rid of Radditz." He snickered. Goku raised an eyebrow in the direction Radditz had gone. "Ah." He understood the need to have done that; Radditz could be, difficult to control at times. Goku didn't notice as Vegeta moved around behind him. The prince spoke softly as he walked up to the saiya-jins rear. "Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out." He said. Before Goku could react to what he had said, the prince was giving the arrow shaft a firm yank. Goku jumped into the air with a roar. "Ow! Hey! Easy with the yanking!" He cried as he hopped away from Vegeta. The prince put his fists on his slender hips. "Well I'm sorry, but it has to come out. Now, now let me-" Vegeta tried to reason with Goku as he chased the saiya-jin around the clearing. Goku ran ahead of Vegeta in an attempt to keep the prince's hands away from his rear, and the arrow. "No, no it's tender!" He yelped as he barely managed to evade Vegeta's hand. The prince ran after him. "Now, now don't move!" He huffed. Goku gave him a quick glare as he dodged him. "No, what you're doing is the opposite of help! Ok look, look! Time out!" He growled as he turned around and put his hand over Vegeta's face, stopping the prince in his tracks. Vegeta grunted at him. "Would you!" He huffed as he pulled Goku's hand from his face. "Ok, what do you propose we do?" He asked.  
  
Radditz was tramping through the forest with a frustrated look on his face. "Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color blind!" He growled as he stomped through a small gathering of blue flowers with red thorns. A sudden scream made him snap to attention and grab a small cluster of flowers. "Hold on Goku! I'm coming!" He yelled as he ran back.  
  
Goku groaned as Vegeta tugged on the arrow again. He was lying belly down over a log, while Vegeta yanked on the arrow to try and remove it. "Ow! Not good." He sighed. Vegeta licked his lips in determination. "Ok, ok, I can move this thing, it's just about-" He muttered while pulling hard on it. Goku's eyes widened. "Ow! Ow!" He cried. He rolled over to get Vegeta to let go of the arrow, and ended up with the slight prince on top of him. Vegeta and Goku blinked into each other's eyes and fought off the urge to blush as their bodies lay against each other in a delicious position. Goku couldn't help but notice how well the prince fit between his powerful legs, or how wonderful his smaller chest felt as it pushed against his own whenever Vegeta breathed. It was at that moment that Radditz returned. He stared silently at the two for a second before clearing his throat and raising an eyebrow at them. Goku and Vegeta looked over at him in surprise. "Nothing happened!" Goku yelped as he threw Vegeta off of him. The prince landed with a small thud on the ground, wincing as he rubbed his rear. "We were just, uh-" Goku trailed off miserably as Radditz walked past him with a snort. "Look, if ya wanted to be alone, all ya had to do was ask." He said. Goku waved his hands in the air. "Oh come on! That's the last thing on my mind! The prince here, was just-Oh!" He groaned in pain as he looked down at a wickedly smirking prince. Vegeta gave the saiya-jin an evil grin as he waved the arrow at him. "Ow." Goku whispered painfully. Radditz glanced at them and paled a bit. "Hey what's that? Is that blood?" He promptly fainted after asking his question. Goku hoisted the limp saiya-jin over his shoulder and started walking, or rather, limping down the road with the prince. Their journey seemed to brighten after the arrow incident. Goku would hold trees down over rivers so Vegeta could cross, and the prince used a spider web to catch some pesky insects that were bothering Goku as they walked through a field. He had even twirled the web into the shape of cotton candy for the saiya-jin. To top it all off, the two caught a poor frog and an unlucky snake and made balloons for each other. Radditz noted with a small grin that they seemed to be getting very close. He smirked to himself. Things were looking good.  
  
A.N. Ok that's chapter seven! I love the arrow part! It's too funny, and the bird! Heh heh, I don't know, maybe it's sad that I feel that one of the best parts in the movie is when the bird blows up, but I enjoy it. You know what I want to see minna. So review! Or I'll drag you off to my Shrine for a "work-out". ::Grins wickedly:: Mwahahaha! 


	8. Chapter Eight Misconceptions

Disclaimer ~ I don't own them! Does anyone even read these things?! -.-  
  
N. Hmm, there is not much to say here, just the usual insanity that dwells in my mind. At least I haven't turned this into a lemon…maybe I should put one at the end, then again, I am trying to stay with the movie, somewhat. What do you think? Should I write a lemon at the end or not?  
  
  
  
The three travelers stopped above a field of sunflowers before an old windmill. The field stretched out below them for a few miles and beyond it, lay Lady Bulma's fortress, Capsule. Goku felt his heart clench a bit as he looked upon it. "There it is princey, your future awaits you." He said softly. Vegeta was suddenly unsure of whether he really wanted to go there or not. "That's Capsule?" He breathed. Radditz poked his head up in-between Vegeta and Goku. "Yeah I know, you know Goku thinks Lady Bulma is compensating for something, which I think means she has some really small- ah!" He yelped as Goku kicked him hard in the rear, knocking him to the ground. "Ow." He groaned. Vegeta was a little confused, but he smiled as Goku looked over at him. "I uh, I guess we better move on." He mumbled to the prince. Vegeta bit his lip as he watched Goku start to walk away. "Sure, but, um, I'm worried about Radditz!" He suddenly yelled. Goku turned back in confusion. "What?" He asked. Vegeta thought fast. "I mean, look at him! He doesn't look so good." He gave Goku a sly smile as the saiya-jin walked back. Radditz snorted. "What are you talking about? I'm fine" He huffed. Vegeta grabbed the dense saiya-jin by the chin and looked into his eyes. "Well that's what they always say and then, then the next thing you know, you're on your back." He said. Radditz raised an eyebrow at him. Goku stifled a snicker at that; he knew what the other saiya-jin was thinking. Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "Dead." He said flatly. Goku decided to have a little fun with this and knelt down next to Radditz. "You know he's right, you look awful. Do you want to sit down?" He asked in mock concern. Vegeta gave the now wide-eyed saiya-jin a small smile. "Oh you know, I'll make you some tea." He patted Radditz's shoulder as he stood up. Radditz sniffled. "Well, I didn't want to say nothing, but I got this twinge in my neck and when I turn my head like this, look." He whimpered out at them while turning his head at an odd angle until it made a sickening crack. "Ow! See?" He said with a sniffle. Goku smiled and rubbed his hands together. "Who's hungry?" He questioned. "I'll find us some dinner." He turned and headed off as Vegeta went the other way. "And I'll get some firewood!" He called as he went. Radditz watched them walk away from him. "Hey where you going?" He yelled in a panicked voice. "Oh man I can't feel all of my tail." He whimpered while glancing behind him to see nothing but his black hair. "I don't have all of my tail!" He shrieked. He slumped to the ground with a sad sob. "I think I need a hug." He sniffled.  
  
Vegeta and Goku sat before a warm fire, eating the catch that the saiya-jin had been roasting as the sun slowly began to set behind them. "Mmm, this is good, this is really good. What is this?" Vegeta asked in-between bites. Goku smiled as he pulled his dinner off of the spit over the fire and sat down beside the prince. "Weed Rat, rotisserie style." He replied. Vegeta raised his eyebrows. "No kidding. Well this is delicious." He took another bite. Goku swallowed his mouthful before speaking. "Well they're also great in stews. Now I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean, weed rat stew." He and Vegeta chuckled. The prince glanced at the castle and let out a soft sigh. "I guess I'll be dinning a little differently tomorrow night." He whispered. Goku looked down at his meal. "Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kinds of things for you; swamp frog soup, fish eye tar-tar, you name it." He said with a grin. Vegeta smiled warmly at him. "I'd like that." He nodded. Goku gazed into the prince's dark eyes. "Um, princey?" He asked in a hushed voice. "Yes Goku?" Vegeta returned in the same tone. "I um, I was wondering," Goku felt his heart beating faster as he gazed into Vegeta's eyes. "Are you, uh, are you gonna eat that?" He faltered. Vegeta continued to smile as he removed the rest of the rat from his stick and handed it over, unaware that Goku was scowling at himself for his fear. Goku put his hand over Vegeta's as he started to take the rat. Then somehow, the two of them got closer and closer, till their lips were less than an inch apart; and then a head of messy black hair popped up next to them, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Man isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset!" he said dreamily, spoiling the moment completely. Vegeta's eyes widened. "Sunset! Oh no! I, uh, it's late, it's very late." He stuttered as he backed away from them. Goku blinked. "What?" He asked. Radditz grinned slyly at the prince. "Wait a minute, I see what's going on here, you're afraid of the dark aren't you?" He asked, totally off. Vegeta smiled in relief. "Uh, yes, yes that's it. That's, I'm terrified, I, you know I better go inside." He said as he headed for the old windmill. Radditz called out to him. "Well don't feel bad princey, I used to be afraid of the dark too, until, hey no wait, I'm still afraid of the dark!" he cried out, beginning to panic again. Goku sighed. Vegeta smiled at them as he closed the door. "Goodnight." He called. Goku shared a last, lingering look with the prince while he mumbled out. "Goodnight." Radditz glanced between them before Vegeta closed the door. "Oh now I really see what's going on here." He grinned devilishly at Goku. The taller saiya-jin snorted. "Oh, what ya talking about?" He poked a stick into the fire while Radditz smirked. "Oh I don't even want to hear it. Look I'm a saiya-jin I got instincts and I know you two was digging on each other. I can feel it!" He snickered. Goku huffed indignantly. "Oh you're crazy. I'm just taking him back to Bulma!" He said in defense of himself. Radditz shook his head. "Oh come on Goku, wake up and smell the pheromones! Just go in there and tell him how you feel." He encouraged. Goku glared at him. "There's nothing to tell. Besides even if I did tell him that I do, and I'm not saying I do, 'cause I don't, he's a prince and I'm-" He trailed off as he stared at the door. "A saiya-jin?" Radditz added. Goku sighed. "Yeah, a saiya-jin." He stood up and walked towards the forest. Radditz stared at him. "Hey where are you going?" He called out. Goku trudged onward. "To get more firewood!" He yelled back. Radditz glanced over at the large pile of wood that Vegeta had all ready gathered. He sighed as Goku walked down the hill and sat down to think.  
  
While Goku was thinking, Radditz decided to take matters into his own hands and went inside the windmill. "Princey, prince Vegeta? Princey where are you?" He said in a hushed voice as he crept through the old, spider- infested windmill. "Princey, ah! It's very spooky in here, I ain't playing no games." He called out after stepping into a large web. He glanced around the dark room while the prince slowly climbed up a ladder and tried to creep along the second floor without notice. He stepped on an old plank and fell straight through the floor, throwing up dust and shadowing his features as he stood up. Radditz paled as he looked at the shadow. "Ah! Help! Goku!" He screamed. The figure ran toward him. "No! No, no shh!" It hissed. "Goku!" Radditz yelled. A saiya-jin a little shorter than himself reached out for him. It had wild hair dark as ebony that stuck up at the top and trailed just below his shoulders at the bottom. His eyes were very much like Goku's, and he had red fur on the majority of his body. Radditz suddenly realized that he was looking at another level four super saiya- jin. "No it's ok Radditz, it's ok." The saiya-jin said in a whisper. Radditz glared at him. "What did you do with the prince?" he demanded. The saiya-jin shushed him again. "I'm the prince. Radditz it's me, in this body." He said calmly. Radditz's eyes widened as he heard the voice of the prince come out of the saiya-jin's mouth. "Ah! Oh my god! You ate the prince!" He cried. He leaned his head down and yelled at the saiya-jin's stomach. " Can you hear me?" He said desperately. The saiya-jin, which was indeed Vegeta, glared at him. "Radditz!" He growled. Radditz ignored him though and kept yelling. "Listen! Keep breathing! I'll get you out of there! Goku! Goku!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Vegeta grabbed the other saiya-jin's head and covered his mouth. "Shh! This is me! Ok?" He smiled as he looked into the other's eyes. Radditz paled. "Princey? What happened to you? You're uh, duh, different." He said in bewilderment. Vegeta sighed. "I'm ugly, ok?" He sniffled as he turned away in shame. Radditz blinked. "Well yeah, but was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Goku those rats was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said, and-" He was stopped by Vegeta's groan. "No. I've been this way as long as I can remember." He sighed again. Radditz gave him an odd look. "What do you mean? Look I ain't never seen you like this before." He exclaimed. Vegeta glared into room. "It only happens when the sun goes down." He turned his gaze to a barrel of water and looked at his reflection. "By night one way, by day another, this shall be the norm. Until you find true loves first kiss, then take loves true from." He said softly. Radditz smiled. "Aw, that's beautiful, I didn't know you wrote poetry." He blinked as the prince snapped at him. "It's a spell! When I was a little boy, a witch cast a spell on me! Every night I become this! This horrible, ugly beast!" He growled and slapped the reflection of himself. "I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lady Bulma tomorrow, before the sun sets and she sees me, like this." He sniffled as he sat down on the mill and tried to hold back a tear. Radditz hopped up next to him. "All right, all right, calm down. Look it's not that bad, you not that ugly, well, well you are, I ain't gonna lie, you are ugly, but you only look like this at night. Goku is ugly twenty-four seven." He said in an attempt to ease Vegeta's grief. The saiya-jin looked up at him and sobbed again. "But Radditz, I'm a prince, and this is not how a prince is meant to look!" He wailed. Radditz licked his lips. "Princey, how about if you don't marry Bulma?" He asked. Vegeta shook his head. "I have to. Only my true loves kiss can break the spell." He said resolutely. Radditz watched him from the corner of his eyes as he spoke. "But you know uh, you're kind of a level four super saiya-jin, and Goku, well you've got a lot in common." He hinted. Vegeta blinked. "Goku?"  
  
At that moment, Goku was walking towards the windmill with a sunflower in his hand. "Princey, I, uh, how's it going, first of all, good? Uh, good for me too, I'm ok. I saw this flower, and thought of you because, it's pretty. Well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause, you're pretty; but I like you anyway! I uh, ah, I'm in trouble." He mumbled as he gave up on his rehearsed conversation. He walked up the steps of the windmill. "Ok, here we go." He was about to knock on the door when he heard voices inside.  
  
"You don't get it Radditz. I mean really, who could ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? Prince and ugly don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Goku. My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. Don't you see Radditz, that's just how it has to be." Vegeta's words cut Goku's heart into pieces. He dropped the flower and stomped down the stairs in a pained rage.  
  
Vegeta looked down at his hands. "It's the only way to break the spell." He sighed. Radditz shook his head. "Well you at least gotta tell Goku the truth." He said. Vegeta nearly made him yelp as he jumped at him. "Radditz no! You can't breathe a word, no one must ever know!" He cried. Radditz frowned at him. "What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?" He stated. Vegeta gave him a nervous look. "Promise you won't tell. Promise!" He pushed. Radditz sighed. "All right, all right, I won't tell him, but you should!" He shook his head as he stepped outside and stomped down the stairs. "I just know before this is over I'm gonna need a lot of serious therapy. Just look at my eye twitching!" He muttered to himself while forcing the muscles in his left eye to wiggle and convulse. Vegeta leaned out to watch him go, and looked down to see a pretty flower on the doorstep. He picked it up and smiled at it, then looked around to see who might have put it there; inwardly wishing it was Goku. When he saw no one around, he went back inside and shut the door.  
  
  
  
A. N. Well, I sent out another chapter. Poor Kakarot, er Goku. Don't we all want to just boo-hoo over his widdle broken sappy heart? Tch, weak baka. Hmm, I suppose I shouldn't be so cruel, I get fluffy with my koi and I would feel the same way if I heard him saying things like that. In any case, you know what to do. See you next time! 


	9. Chapter Nine Ah! It's Bulma!

Disclaimer ~ I own…nothing. I pretend to own..nothing.  
  
N. Hmm, ok I won't write a lemon in. And Chuquita! =P to you too! ^-^ Love your stories girl!  
  
  
  
Vegeta sat on the mill stone and eagerly pulled flower petals from the sunflower in his hands. "I tell him not, I tell him, I tell him not, I tell him!" He got up and marched to the door. "Goku! Goku!" He yelled as he threw it open and stepped outside. "There's something I want to-" He trailed off, as he saw no one around. At that moment the sun rose and in a swirl of sparkling light, the prince reverted to his other form. His eyes became black and his hair returned to its flaming style, and the fur on his body disappeared with his tail. As soon as the transformation was finished, Goku walked up over the top of the hill and towards the windmill. Vegeta frowned a bit at the scowl on the saiya-jin's face. "Goku, are you all right?" He asked softly. Goku glared at him. "Perfect, never been better." He snapped as he walked over to the steps. Vegeta took a deep breath before he began his explanation. "Oh, well, I, I uh, there's something I have to tell you." He started. Goku angrily cut him off. "You don't have to tell me anything princey. I heard enough last night." He snapped. Vegeta was taken a back. "You heard what I said?" He breathed. Goku narrowed his eyes at the prince. "Every word." He said coolly. Vegeta looked confused. "I thought you'd understand." He whispered. Goku snorted. "Oh, I understand. Like you said, who could love a horrible, ugly beast?" He said in a clipped tone. "But I thought that wouldn't matter to you." Vegeta was speaking in a very soft, controlled voice by now. He felt like his heart was being crushed under Goku's foot. "Yeah, well it does." Goku's voice had an icy edge to it that only made things worse. The whinny of a horse caught their attention. "Ah, right on time. Princey, I've brought you a little something." Goku sneered.  
  
Vegeta blinked in surprise as a group of horses and knights approached him and Goku. He couldn't tell what was going on at the moment.  
  
Radditz had been sleeping the whole time, but the sound of trumpets and marching feet woke him from his slumber. He yawned tiredly as he sat up. "Uh, what I miss?" He looked up with bleary eyes at an annoyed knight and gulped. "Eh, who said that? Couldn't have been a saiya-jin." He muttered as he quickly ran behind Goku.  
  
Vegeta continued to stare as one of the riders spoke to Goku. "Prince Vegeta?" The voice asked. Goku nodded. "As promised. Now hand it over." He snapped. The rider rolled his eyes heavenward. "Very well saiya-jin. The deed to your swamp cleared out as agreed. Take it and go, before I change my mind." He said. Vegeta thought the rider's voice was terribly shrill for that of a man. He felt a shiver run down his spine as the rider turned to look at him. "Forgive me prince, for startling you, but you startled me. For I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I am, Lady Bulma." He or rather, she said. Vegeta felt himself twitch involuntarily. "Lady Bulma?" He ground out in shock. He quickly composed his lost nerve. "Ah, no, no." He smiled a little as Bulma had her knight help her off her horse. "For I was just saying a small farewell." Vegeta raised an eyebrow and blinked at his future wife's diminutive chest; it almost looked like there was nothing there at all. He cringed even more as he looked the woman in the face. She wasn't extremely ugly, but she wasn't going to win any beauty contests either. Bulma faked a smile. "That is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the saiya-jin. It's not like it has feelings." She sniffed haughtily. Vegeta watched Goku start to walk away. "No, you're right. It doesn't." He deadpanned. Vegeta gasped in surprise when Bulma grabbed his hand and knelt before him on one knee. "Prince Vegeta, beautiful, fair, flawless Vegeta, I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect groom for the perfect bride?" She gushed in perhaps the sappiest voice the prince had ever heard. Vegeta was at a loss for words. Wasn't the man supposed to ask the woman? He inwardly cringed. Lady Bulma was beginning to freak him out, but on the other hand- he glanced over at Goku. The saiya-jin was looking at them with contempt. Vegeta made his decision then. "Lady Bulma, I accept, nothing would make-" He was cut off by the lady's exuberant cry. "Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!" She cried. Vegeta turned his gaze away from Goku and stared at the lady. "No!" He yelled. Bulma gave him an odd look and Goku raised an eyebrow. Vegeta smiled a little. "I mean uh, why wait? Let's get married today, before sunset." He felt himself pale at the leer the woman gave him. "Oh, anxious are we? You're right, the sooner the better! There's so much to do!" Bulma ranted and raved as Goku walked away in a sullen mood. Vegeta glowered at his back while only halfway listening to the woman. "There's the carpenter, the cake, the guest list, Captain round up some guests!" She rattled while being lifted onto her horse. Vegeta jumped up behind her and waved to Goku as they headed back to the castle. "Fare thee well saiya- jin." He called.  
  
Radditz watched in horror as Goku walked past him and Vegeta rode away with Bulma. "Goku what are you doing? You're letting him get away!" He cried. Goku threw a glare over his shoulder at the other saiya-jin. "Yeah, so what?" He snapped. Radditz ran after him and cut him off. "Goku, there's something about him that you don't know! I talked to him last night, he's-" Radditz was abruptly cut off by a pained yell from Goku. "Yeah I know you talked to him last night! You're great pals aren't ya? Well if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow him home?!" He snapped. Radditz blinked as Goku stepped past him. "But Goku, I want to go with you." He mumbled. Goku turned to him with an angry glare. "Hey I told you didn't I? You're not coming home with me! I live alone. My swamp, me! Nobody else, nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking hairball saiya- jins!" He roared. Radditz swallowed hard. "But I thought-" He trailed off softly as Goku broke in again. "Yeah well, you know what? You thought wrong!" He growled as he marched off towards his home. Radditz stood there for a moment, then turned and slowly trudged the other way.  
  
Goku glared as he sullenly stomped around his swamp, picking up trash left over by the saiya-jins, and silently having a pity party for himself. At the castle, Vegeta was being fitted into his wedding clothes. He tried to look happy as he gazed into the mirror, but he kept thinking of Goku. He felt like crying, almost. It just wasn't fair, why couldn't Goku accept him? He didn't know that the saiya-jin was having the same exact thoughts about him at that very moment.  
  
While they were lost in their own depressed thoughts, Radditz had made his way to a small lake. He had been vainly trying to fight off his hurt tears, but it no longer mattered and he let them fall as he looked into the cool, clear water. His eyes noticed that his reflection wasn't the only one in the water, and with surprise, he realized that Brolli was just on the other side of the rock he was sitting by. Radditz started to run, but he heard a sniffling sound and saw that Brolli was crying and making soft mournful sounds. The saiya-jin took a breath to calm his nerves. He then stepped around the rock and faced Brolli. The two stared at each other in silence for a moment, then they quietly cuddled together. Finding solace for their sorrows in one another's arms. Radditz had to admit that Brolli was very fond of him. He started to think of his former friend and what could have gotten him so upset. He shook his head at that thought, Goku was still his friend, and he had to find a way to help him out. He knew that Goku had a thing for the prince, and vice versa. The trick was getting them to admit it to each other. He smirked suddenly, while Brolli gently stroked his hair. Radditz whispered into the other saiya-jin's ear and then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Brolli returned his smaller love's devious smirk and gently cradled him in his arms as they flew off towards Goku's swamp.  
  
A. N. Ok! There's chapter nine. I hope you liked it. Wow, just two more chapters and this will be over. I can't believe it's getting so close. O.O; Well, anyway, review ningens! 


	10. Chapter Ten Friends Again

Disclaimer ~ I just bought Vegeta at the 99 cents store and I have him trapped inside a small, plastic ball! Mwahahahaha! Heh, actually that's a toy my mom got me as a joke. -.-; I really don't own anything.  
  
N. *-* Wow, just one more chapter after this. I don't know what to say. For the first time ever, I can't think of anything to say. Hmm, oh well, on with chapter ten!  
  
Goku was sitting at his table and solemnly gazing into his fireplace. He didn't feel like eating at the moment. The only thing he could think of was the prince. He was startled out of his daydreams by a strange thumping noise outside his house. He blinked as he stood and went to the door. Goku was more than surprised by what he saw outside. "Radditz?" He asked in a puzzled tone. He stepped over to the other saiya-jin and watched with curiosity as he stacked wood and stones on top of each other in a straight line. "What are you doing?" Goku knew what it was, but he wanted to know why. Radditz pushed a stone under a piece of wood. "I would think you would recognize a wall when you see one." He grunted. Goku scratched the back of his head. "Well yeah, but the wall's supposed to go around my swamp not through it." He pointed out. Radditz continued to build. "It is, around your half. See that's your half and this is mine." He explained. Goku frowned. "Oh! Your half, hmm." He was getting annoyed now. Radditz glared up at him. "Yes my half. I helped rescue the prince, I did half the work, I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head." He snapped. Goku grabbed a piece of wood and Radditz grabbed the other side. They began trying to shove one another and growled angrily as they pushed. "Back off!" Goku growled. "No, you back off!" Radditz hissed. "This is my swamp!" Goku snarled at him. "Our swamp!" Radditz countered. "Let go Radditz!" Goku warned. "You let go!" Radditz yelled back. "Stubborn ass!" Goku snapped. "Smelly Saiya-jin!" Radditz returned just as coldly. "Fine!" Goku yelled as he let go. He turned and headed back for his door while Radditz blinked on the ground.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey come back here, I'm not finished with you yet!" Radditz cried as he ran after Goku. The tall saiya-jin kept walking. "Well I'm through with you!" He hissed over his shoulder. Radditz cut him off before he could go inside. "Uh-huh, you know with you it's always me, me, me. Well guess what? Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me, and you don't appreciate anything that I do. You're always pushing me around, or pushing me away." Radditz was in full blown lecture mode, and Goku was getting an earful, which he deserved. The saiya-jin wasn't ready to listen though and he whirled around to face Radditz after trying to walk away from him. "Oh yeah? Well if I've treated you so bad, how come you came back?" He snapped. Radditz slammed him into the door of the outhouse and glared at him. "Because that's what friends do, they forgive each other!" He growled. Goku smiled at him. "Oh yeah, yeah, you're right Radditz. I forgive you, for stabbing me in the back!" He shoved Radditz away and went inside the outhouse, slamming the door behind him. Radditz let out a frustrated howl. "You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you afraid of your own feelings!" He yelled. Goku's muffled yell came back from inside. "Go away!" Radditz snorted in annoyance. "See? There you're doing it again! Just like you did to Vegeta, and all he ever did was like ya, maybe even love ya!" He ranted. Goku snapped from within once again. "Love me? He said I was ugly! A hideous creature! I heard the two of you talking." He said viciously. Radditz frowned. "He wasn't talking about you, he was talking about- uh, somebody else." He wished he could just tell Goku, but that was the prince's call to make. Goku slowly opened the door. "He wasn't talking about me? Well then who was he talking about?" He asked. Radditz sneered at him and gave him his back. "Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't want to listen to me, right? Right?" He snapped. Goku rolled his eyes. "Radditz." He said softly. The smaller saiya- jin just glared over his shoulder. "No!" He said before looking away again. Goku sighed. "Ok look, I'm sorry, all right?" He said half-heartedly. He received a glare in response. Goku bit his lower lip. "I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly saiya-jin. Can you forgive me?" He said with sincerity this time. Radditz smiled at him. "Hey that's what friends are for, right?" He grinned. Goku smiled a bit. "Right, friends?" He grinned widely as Radditz nodded. "Friends." The two shook hands.  
  
Goku scratched the back of his head nervously. "So um, what did Vegeta say about me?" He asked. Radditz snickered. "Man what are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask him?" He chuckled. Goku suddenly looked panicked. "The wedding! We'll never make it in time!" He cried. Radditz smirked triumphantly. He made a victory pose and let out a heroic laugh. "Never fear! For where there's a will, there's a way, and I have a way." He winked at Goku then let out a long whistle.  
  
The two saiya-jins watched in awe as Brolli lowered himself from the sky and smiled at them. His look was still alarming for Goku though. "Radditz?" He gulped. Radditz laughed in embarrassment. "I guess it's just my animal magnetism." He said softly. Goku snickered at him, now that he understood, it was kind of humorous. "Aw come here you!" He hugged the shorter saiya- jin and gave him a nuggie. Radditz twisted out of his grasp with a laugh. "All right, don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass." He snickered. Brolli helped Goku get onto his back and pulled the saiya-jin's arms around his neck. "All right hop on and hold on tight, I haven't had a chance to install my seat belts yet." He joked as he climbed into his love's arms. Brolli kissed him tenderly as he lifted off the ground and began to head for Lady Bulma's castle.  
  
  
  
At the castle, the crowd of people was making stupid cooing sounds that they were being led through by cue cards. Vegeta found that utterly ridiculous, but he didn't say anything. The priest was still trying to get through the first sentence and they had been standing there for almost five minutes now. Vegeta decided it was taking far to long, it was almost sun set. "Um, excuse me, can we just skip ahead to the I do's?" He asked quietly. The priest glanced at the chuckling bride. "Go on." Bulma ordered. She squeezed the prince's hand and gave him a sickening smile. Vegeta wondered what he had gotten himself into.  
  
Outside the wedding hall, Brolli had just landed. His sudden appearance had made the knights scatter in fear. Radditz turned to give him a quick kiss and smiled at him. "Go ahead and have some fun. If we need ya I'll whistle. How about that?" He asked. Brolli nodded and gave his smaller love a quick pinch to the rear before running after some frightened guards. Radditz grinned to himself as he ran after Goku. "Goku wait, wait! Wait a minute, you wanna do this right don't you? Look there's a line; there's a line you gotta wait for. The priest is gonna say, 'speak now or forever hold your peace.'" He imitated the priest as he explained things. Goku rolled his eyes. "What are you talking about?" He huffed. Radditz kept going. "And that's when you say, 'I object!'" He stamped his foot for emphasis. Goku frowned at him. "Oh I don't have time for this!" He started to go inside, but Radditz pulled him back. "Hey wait, wait, what are you doing? Listen to me! Look you love this man don't you?" he said calmly. Goku nodded. "Yes." He said. Radditz raised an eyebrow at him. "You wanna hold him?" He asked. Goku nodded again. "Yes." He said. Radditz's voice took on an almost melodic tone. "Please him?" He asked. Goku growled at him. "Yes!" He snapped. Radditz did a quick dance and sang out. "Then ya got ta, got ta show a little tenderness!" He stopped and grinned at his friend. "The royals love that romantic crap!" He explained. Goku glared at him. "All right, cut it out! When does this guy say the line?" He asked in annoyance. Radditz opened his mouth, then closed it. He thought for a moment. "We got to check it out." He whispered.  
  
  
  
A. N. Ok, will they make it in time? Will Vegeta get tied down to, Bulma!? Will Brolli gorge himself on scared knights? Will the priest ever get through a sentence? Will I stop asking questions? Tune in next time to find out! O.o; I sound like the announcer on a cartoon. -.-; Kuso. 


	11. Chapter Eleven The Wedding, The End?!

Disclaimer ~ For the billionth time, I OWN NOTHING!!!!  
  
N. Wai! It's almost over! This is it! Last Chapter! ::gets teary eyed:: In the words of my mistress, "BWAAAAAAAAA!" ::stops crying:: Ok enough of that. I want to thank everyone who reviewed, DevilHunter, Trunkswriter, Chuquita, Nekoni, and everyone else. I do have news for you, Nekoni, I am going to write more fics. I have an untitled at my shrine that I have to devote my time to after this, but when that's done; I have plans to write a Mirai TrunksXVegeta fic. Not sure if it should be a parody of something yet, but I'll sift through my movies and see what I have. If not, I'll just go from my own, twisted mind. Mwahahaha! And now, on to the last, ::sniffles:: chapter of Goku, A Shrek Parody!  
  
  
  
Radditz's head appeared outside the window of the wedding chamber. Then it disappeared, then reappeared, and then disappeared again. As he did this, the priest stuttered through his lines. "And so, by the power vested in me, I know pronounce you husband and wife, King and Queen." He said slowly.  
  
Goku threw Radditz up to the window so he could look in again, then caught him as he came down. "What do ya see?" He asked. Radditz managed to say a sentence each time Goku caught him. "The whole town's in there. They're at the altar." He gasped as he looked in again. "Mother Fletcher he all ready said it!" He cried. Goku threw his hands into the air. "Oh for the love of Pete!" He ran inside the hall and let Radditz crash to the ground with a loud "Oof!"  
  
Bulma was leaning in to kiss her new husband when the doors to the room banged open and a hairy saiya-jin came running down the aisle. "I object!" Goku yelled. Vegeta stared at him in shock as he ran up to the altar. "Goku?" He whispered in disbelief. The priest had wisely stepped away before he could faint. Bulma ran her hand through her blue hair. "Oh, now what does he want?!" She hissed in irritation. Goku laughed nervously at the frightened crowd. "Hi everyone, having a good time are ya? I love Capsule, first of all, very clean." He rambled. Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest and glared. "What are you doing here?!" He demanded. Bulma added her two cents worth. "Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding!" She snapped. Goku cut in before she could really get going. "Vegeta, I need to talk to you." He said imploringly. Vegeta sneered at him. "Oh, now you wanna talk? Well it's a little late for that so if you'll excuse me." He snapped. He then leaned over to kiss Bulma, who was smirking evilly at Goku. The saiya-jin yanked the small prince away by his arm. "But you can't marry her!" He cried. Vegeta glared coldly at him. "And why not?" He inquired. Goku stumbled around for an answer. "Because, because, she's just marrying you so she can be queen!" He said triumphantly. Bulma acted as if she had been wounded. "Outrageous! Vegeta, don't listen to him." She purred. Goku glared at her. "She's not your true love!" He growled. The prince eyed him coolly. "And what do you know about true love?" He said in a steeled tone. Goku was at a loss for words. "Well uh, I uh, I mean-" He trailed off as Bulma began to laugh mockingly. "Oh this is precious! The saiya-jin has fallen in love with the prince! Oh lord, a saiya-jin and a prince!" She gasped out between cackles. The crowd was cued to laugh along with their queen. Vegeta was looking into Goku's eyes with a steady gaze. "Is this true?" He whispered. Bulma cut in angrily. "Who cares! It's preposterous! Vegeta, my love, we are but a kiss away from our happily ever after, now, kiss me!" She puckered her lips and made a smooching noise at the prince. Vegeta visibly cringed at the sight. The prince glanced out the window at the setting sun, and then looked back at Goku. "By night one way, by day another. I wanted to show you before." He said with a small smile as he backed up to the glass.  
  
As the last light of the sun faded a glowing light surrounded the prince. It was too bright to look at, but when it faded Vegeta had been transformed. He stood a few inches taller, his hair was longer around the base of his neck, he had soft red fur all over his body, and a tail. He looked very much like Goku. He smiled weakly at the other saiya-jin. Goku returned the smile. "Well, that explains a lot." He said. Bulma was having a hard time not fainting like the other ladies had. "Ugh, it's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get them out of my sight! Get them! Get them both! This hocus pocus changes nothing! This marriage is binding! And that makes me Queen! See! See!" She ranted in an insanely maniacal manner. Bulma placed the crown on her head and sneered at Goku and Vegeta as several guards set upon them. Vegeta struggled against the men holding him back. "No! No Goku! No let go of me! Goku!" He yelled as he tried to fight off his assailants. Goku wasn't doing much better as he tried vainly to get to his beloved. "No! Get out of my way!" He growled at some of the men. Bulma pointed her scepter at Goku as she bellowed to her men. "Don't just stand there you morons, kill him! You have to! Go get him! Beast! You'll rue the day we met!" She hissed at the saiya-jin as he struggled. Goku was unable to get through the amount of knights to Vegeta. He was finally overpowered. Bulma laughed evilly. "I'll see you torn in two! You'll beg for death to save you!" She cried with glee. Vegeta ran forward at that. "No! Goku!" He cried. He was held back before he could get very far and then he stilled as Bulma turned a to him and placed a dagger at his throat. "And as for you, my husband! I'll have you locked back in that tower, for the rest of your days!" She cried. Goku had had enough. He put his fingers in his mouth and did the only thing he could think of doing. He whistled.  
  
"I am Queen! I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have-" Bulma's screams were cut short by a thundering roar and the shattering of the stained glass window above the altar. Brolli took one look at the pale, shrieking queen and opened his mouth. He let out a burst of flame and roasted her to a crisp. When the flames cleared, there weren't even ashes left. Radditz popped up from behind Brolli and glared crazily at everyone. "All right, nobody move! I got an Ultimate level Saiya-jin here and I ain't afraid to use it! I'm a saiya-jin on the edge!" He yelled. After a moment of silence, he grinned. "Celebrity marriages, they never last do they?" Radditz chuckled and nodded to his friend. "Go ahead, Goku." He said. Goku took Vegeta's hand in his. "Uh Vegeta-" He started. The prince squeezed his hand. "Yes Goku?" He said encouragingly. "I, I love you." Goku said softly as a tiny smile appeared on his lips. Vegeta smiled at him. "Really?" He whispered. Goku nodded. "Really really." He replied. Vegeta let out a short laugh and smiled at him. "I love you too." He said as Goku leaned down to him. Their lips met in a tender, loving kiss. The crowd was given the cue to aww and they did.  
  
As soon as the kiss ended, Vegeta was lifted into the air and the same light from before appeared around him again. He floated for a moment as a magical change occurred with his body, the spell was finally broken. In a bright flash of power, the building shook and the windows, with Bulma's image on them, were shattered. All but one anyway, and Brolli punched it out just to keep things orderly. After the light faded Vegeta was lowered to the floor. Goku helped him stand up and smiled at him. "Vegeta, are you all right?" He asked. The prince looked confused. "Well yes, but I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful." He said in a sad voice. Goku gave him a reassuring smile. "But you are beautiful." He said truthfully. To him, the prince was the most beautiful creature alive. Radditz hugged Brolli and wiped away a tear. "I was hopping this would be a happy ending!" He sniffed. Goku and Vegeta leaned in for another kiss, but this one was a lot more passionate, with tongue and everything.  
  
After getting some things arranged, the two saiya-jins had a new wedding at the swamp, just so things would be legal and all. The happy couple walked down the aisle towards their carriage. After they got in, Vegeta threw out the bouquet of flowers he had been holding. Chi Chi and Chaoutzu started to fight over who would grab it, but before it got close enough to them, Brolli snatched it from the air. He floated back down and gave Radditz a sly grin. The smaller saiya-jin blushed brightly as he leaned over to kiss and nuzzle his love. Little Pan walked out from the crowd and waved at Goku and Vegeta. "God bless us, everyone!" She cried joyfully. With that, the carriage carried the two saiya-jins off into the sunset, and to some place where they could make out like true lovers do!  
  
THE END  
  
A.N. Wah It's over! I can't believe it! I finished a story that was longer than three chapters! ::breaks out the sake and parfaits:: PARTY! Yatta! Wai for Me! I did it! Oh yeah! Mwahaha! O.o; Now all I have to do is figure out what to write next. Well review as always and let me know what you thought of my fic. I loved writing it and I'm sort of sad that it's over with, but that's how this kind of thing works. Ja Matta Ne Minna! ^-^ 


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